


before my heart lets you go

by kireiki



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, dreamer!daniel, i... think it gets better?, lots of talk about stars and the universe idk, realist!jihoon, side jinhwi and yongguk/donghan whatever their ship name is, the first part was kinda a mess but it gets better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-03-23 10:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13786011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kireiki/pseuds/kireiki
Summary: what if the universe leads you to find the person you're meant to be with only to pull you two apart againordaniel and jihoon fall in love except they don't have foreverthey have aday





	1. where did you go?

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is inspired by the sun is also a star by nicola yoon, including some quotes and events that occur :)
> 
> (tsiaas is really a heartwarming and bittersweet story:'' i loved it)  
> (i hope this fic would come off that way too)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> charas aged down (only for the school system to fit)
> 
> i first wrote the draft but with jinhwi, but it didn't really fit so i redid it with jihoon and daniel, because i felt nielwink would suit it  
> jihoon is based off natasha's character in the book and daniel would be based off.. daniel (in the book)
> 
> dreamer-realist kind of au? ill do my best^^

> maybe it's the stars  
>  that keep drawing me  
>  back to you,  
>  the remnants of  
>  constellations in our bones  
>  longing to align the way  
>  they were always meant to
> 
> \- jessica katoff  
> 

  
  


jihoon really didn't want to leave. he hates change, he likes everything to remain as it is. adapting just isn't his thing. and yet,

he's taping down the last of the boxes of his belongings. memories of the sixteen years he spent in seoul, picture frames of him with his friends, his story books and the stuffed toys he had on his bed looking up at him as he closed the flap of the cardboard box.

 _ill see you soon, american mail service better be fast._ jihoon wonders how on earth he will sleep without the comfort of being surrounded by his bunny plushies. _it'll probably take a month to arrive_

jihoon groans and lies back onto the bed—his bed, but not for long. he won't be sleeping on it again. since his parents had decided to leave the heavy furniture for the couple that will be renting their apartment.

_"then where will we stay when we come back?"_

_"it's too early to think about that now, jihoon, go finish packing up"_

jihoon had not taken the news of their moving very well, he was annoyed that his parents hadn't had the decency to at least ask him for his thoughts before agreeing to take that stupid overseas job. _"what about woojin? and jinyoung and daehwi and guanlin?"_ he had been choking back tears and he almost wanted to scream and it had made his throat sore, but he had sworn that he'd never cry in front of anyone, _"what will i do without them?"_

 _"you'll meet new people, and you can always keep in touch with them"_ was all he got, but he knew they'll eventually lose touch. time zones and responsibilities and growing up but that wasn't the point. at this time of his life he should be worrying over high school applications, clearing schedules for parties. not whether his only connections to his life in seoul will reach their damn american house in one piece. 

he turns on his phone and checks the time, _8:56am._ their flight's in a little more than 12 hours. and no way was jihoon going to spend those last few hours rotting in this room, he'd rather not have his stuffed toys for two months.

he scoops his kanken off the floor and puts on his headphones. turning up the volume and blocking out the sounds around him. 

he wonders if leaving the home he grew up in is fate's plan for him. fate is a cruel thing.  
jihoon doesn't believe in fate.

and he's out the door before anyone can stop him.

 

daniel wanted to get out of here. he didn't care about being a doctor, or a lawyer, or an engineer or anything that his parents labelled as a 'good job'. those things required a passion, and his passion lies in other things. he wanted to decide his own future, be in charge of his destiny.

but here he is shrugging on his suit jacket. it feels suffocating. he takes it off, folds it and puts it into his bag instead. if it creases so be it.

he has his dress shirt left on with a black tie and matching trousers. _tailor made for the occasion._ a university interview.

he checks his watch. the interview is scheduled for noon, so he has about three hours to kill. he could take the subway, it was only a couple stations away. or he could take a slow walk.

daniel chooses to walk, he doesn't know why. maybe it's because he saw the stars last night, bright and twinkling despite the city light pollution. he thought maybe it meant something, maybe he'll encounter something. it was a small, bright spark in the darkness.

he believes something will happen today. he wants to believe.

 

jihoon didn't have a particular destination in mind when he left, but his feet decided for him anyway. 

he and his friends all worked part time in a small coffee shop, and jihoon had stopped working there three weeks ago, around the time he heard that he'll be leaving. he'd asked his friends that they won't see him off at the airport, because that would make leaving harder and also because they have school the next day. they agreed after much convincing and gave him a big hug each, promising to keep in touch. jihoon wonders how long it'll last.

but he wanted to see them again, one more time.

the way towards the coffee shop is all too familiar that jihoon would be able find his way blindfolded. its in the middle of a shopping district hence attracting both teenagers and tourists alike. 

he doesn't know why he feels apprehensive, is it because this will be their actual last meeting? even though this was what he had been avoiding since the moment he told them not to see him off.

he wonders if something was driving him to come here, was it the universe? is that what poets mean when they write about fate and the inevitable?  
he doubts it. the universe is something to be discovered. it's not going to help him discover anything.  
it's much too late for that anyway.

***

jihoon is a few blocks away from the coffee shop before he stops outside a shop. _oh_ he thinks, looking up at the sign above the cafe.  
**cafe de kitten**

he remembers walking along this path a month back, with woojin, jinyoung, daehwi and guanlin. _"guys guys! there's gonna be a cat cafe here! let's go together once it opens!' daehwi exclaimed, before jinyoung smacked him (gently) on his back laughing, "then we'll be unloyal to the cafe we work at" daehwi had responded with his puppy eyes and jihoon knew the battle was lost because if anyone in their clique was weak for daehwi, it was jinyoung. "okay, okay, we'll come back when it opens" jinyoung had relented, eyes drifting to the floor and jihoon could see a dusting of pink on his cheeks. daehwi cheered as they continued waking toward their workplace, leaving behind a very flustered jinyoung who woojin had started to tease. those two made jihoon think maybe true love did exist. maybe._

his mind drifts back to the present and he notices a familiar figure arranging some decorations on a shelf. he pushes the door open before his mind could process what he was doing and it was too late to turn back because the figure had turned at the sound of the door opening, "sorry, we're not-jihoon!" donghan exclaimed. jihoon, cursing his impulses, gave him a small wave. they haven't seen each other for over a year, after donghan had moved to a different dance studio. jihoon takes his headphones off and hangs them around his neck. "hey donghan, how have you been? and since when did you like cats?" although he knew the answer the moment the words left his mouth.

"yongguk?"  
"yongguk."

they burst out laughing as yongguk peeked out from the room at the back, "i heard my name, oh jihoon!" he waves his feather duster at him, "since you're here, would you like to pet the cats? there's still time before we open." he gestures to the room behind him, and jihoon could hear a faint chorus of meows escaping. jihoon made his way to the back, it wasn't as if he had much of a plan of what to do with the rest of the day. the back room was littered with balls of yarn and toy mice. half a dozen cat beds lined the walls and there was a litter box at the far corner of the room. "looks cosy" jihoon noted. yongguk smiles as he picks up one of the cats, a fluffy ragdoll with pretty blue eyes. "thank you, keeping them in cages is just sad" jihoon can't help but empathise.

a shorthair rubs against jihoon's leg and he crouches down to stroke it, "i walked past here about a month ago with daehwi and the others, they seemed really excited for your opening. im stopping by later and ill let them know that you guys are the ones working here, they'll probably ditch their shifts and run over" he can't help the hint of sadness that laced the edge of his voice. they had planned to come together, after all.

donghan, always the observant one, noticed and asked, "wait, don't you all work the same shift? and you're talking as if you won't come back here together." his eyes narrowed, "what are you not telling us?" 

jihoon sighed, no point in lying. "i'm moving to america. tonight. for who knows how long." he's met with silence for a few seconds and he peeks up at them through his bangs before donghan bends down and envelops him into a hug. yongguk joins in a moment later and jihoon finds himself squished between them.

they stay like that for a few moments but to jihoon it felt like time had stopped and sped up and its making no sense and its conflicting, because his heart was clenching up and his throat was aching again. 

the hug breaks and jihoon stands up, trying to conceal his face with the sleeve of his sweater. _god he hates crying in front of others._ with the best light tone he could muster, "ahaha.. i'll see you guys later, hopefully. good luck with the cafe." he adds before he dashes out the back room and toward the entrance. someone was in the cafe as well, some guy with quite a large build, despite it not being open yet. they were holding something, but jihoon didn't bother turning back to see what it was. he was out the door again, yongguk and donghan's voices trailed behind. no one was stopping him.

 

daniel could feel the weird looks people were giving him. he guesses he could see why.

a pre university walking around in a dress shirt, tie and polished shoes—with or without his suit jacket he's standing out as he walks through the shopping district.  
another possible reason for all the stares is likely because daniel was observing everyone he passed, well he hoped he wasn't being obvious. but he believes that today holds more events than just an interview, and daniel did not want to miss any chances.

he'd been walking for a good fifteen minutes, and nothing was particularly outstanding. most of everyone was a tourist with their attention on the clothes on display and the little plastic food models in cafe windows. daniel takes off his bag and wears it in front of him to search for his phone for something to do when he spots something out of his peripheral vision. he wears his bagpack properly and sees a small calico cat along the pavement. _odd_ he thinks, the cat was wearing a pink collar so it definitely belonged to someone. but this was a shopping district and the closest neighbourhood was his. 

daniel inches towards the small cat, slowly so as not to frighten it. it had white fur near its tummy and black and brown spots on its back. when the cat turned to face him and tense, daniel could see that one of its eyes were a sky blue and the other a bright green. and in between was an adorable pink heart shaped nose. daniel was an arms length away and he scooped it up, he was going to get cat fur on his dress shirt. but daniel couldn't care less. the cat squirmed for a moment but daniel stroked its back, calming it down. he had cats of his own, after all. _its definitely domesticated_ he thinks. he looks around for a place where the fluffy animal could have come from. he spots a sign a few stores down, _cafe de kitten._ seems about right. he wonders how the cat was able to escape, and that the owner should know to keep their front door closed.

daniel reaches the cafe and steps inside, there were low tables and some cat playgrounds scattered around the room. _no sign of the owners though._ he notices a door at the back, and there were faint voices coming from inside. he was about to head toward the room when a figure speeds out of it and daniel almost drops the cat in surprise. he couldn't see their face, but he knew it was a boy. smaller than him and wearing a baby pink sweater, and he was out the door in a matter of seconds.

"ahh, he ran away," daniel hears behind him. he turns and sees two boys emerge from the room. they notice daniel and he holds the calico cat out to them, "here, your cat kinda got out while you were..." he trails off.

"oh! i must've forgotten to close the door, sorry about that and thank you," the taller one of them steps forward and takes the cat from his arms. but daniel couldn't stop thinking of the boy who ran past him half a minute ago. he seemed like he was crying, and he was sure the two boys would know the reason why. he's tempted to ask but would make him seem like a busybody and a stalker. so he smiles at them, bows and leaves the cafe instead.

when daniel's outside, he glances left and right.  
_where did you go?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliffhanger?? i've wanted to write this fic for the past week and now it's finally out of my system 
> 
> the hardest part of writing this was deciding which pairing to use, and i've read a lot of nielwink angst so,, naturally
> 
> i hope you liked this chapter~


	2. falling forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jihoon firmly believes love is just chemicals in the brain but daniel is determined to prove him wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finished this chapter earlier than i thought? (at the cost of not having written anything for my 2park hogwarts fic for the past week)

daniel looks left and squints, he sees a shrinking pink dot in the distance. taking the chance that it's him, daniel trails after the figure. while trying to look casual.

pink boy has slowed down to a walk, which made daniel's long limbs catch up with him easier. he keeps a distance of a few metres between them, because kang daniel _is not a stalker._

he's close enough to pink boy to see the white headphones around his neck, rabbit straps dangling from his pastel blue kanken. metal pins in the shape of planets and stars pinned on its front pocket like a tiny universe. daniel thought it was adorable and he wonders if pink boy was the _something_ he was looking for.

he looks down at pink boy's sneakers, what a fashion disaster—his left shoelace is blue and the other...green? the image of the heterochromatic calico cat he picked up appears in his mind, it's mismatched blue and green eyes...

that confirms it. he wouldn't have found pink boy if it weren't for the odd eyed cat.  
this is fate, this is the sign he was looking for. (people would usually say this was simply coincidence, daniel likes to think otherwise)

...but now what?

he can't just walk up to a stranger and say, "hey, wanna go get some coffee?" and especially not when said stranger looks as if he just went through a break up. (daniel hopes not)

daniel looks down again and notices that one of pink boy's shoelaces was untied and being dragged along the pavement. he has the urge to tap pink boy's shoulder to caution him. since he seemed too busy wiping his face with his sweater sleeve to notice.

they've reached the edge of the pavement at the traffic crossing and the pedestrian light was red. daniel could hear cars speeding by in front of them, but his attention was focused on the boy in front of him. he watches how pink boy's left foot takes a step forward, stepping right on his untied right shoelace. everything happened in slow motion. when pink boy moved his right foot, it was jerked back by the stepped shoelace and he was falling forward onto the road. daniel saw it and with lightning fast reflexes—partially because he was anticipating the possibility—he takes a big step forward and grabs pink boy by the sleeve and pulls him back as hard as he could.

 

jihoon feels the tug from his shoelace and the next moment he finds himself falling forward and he doesn't do anything. everything around him recently had been moving so fast it was exhausting to keep up. he waits for the moment where he hits the road, but he never does. instead he feels a force pulling him back, and soon he's falling backwards instead of forwards. he closes his eyes and braces himself for the impact but again, it never came. instead, he lands on something soft. considerably softer than the hard pavement he was quite sure he had been walking on.

he hears a groan from behind him and, shocked, jihoon rolls off to the side and he sees the person who cushioned his fall, "ah! are you okay!?" jihoon asks frantically, "are you hurt? do you need to see a doctor?" _why did you save me?_ the person—a male—sat up and rubbed his shoulder blade, wincing slightly. (jihoon couldn't help but notice how wide they were)

"ah, im alright. are you okay?" the male asked as he got up to his feet, brushing dirt off his trousers.

jihoon gaped at him. he literally just saved jihoon's life, and seemed as if he got hurt in the process. yet he was asking if jihoon was alright? "wha? are you serious? i'm obviously alright." he adds softly, "thanks to you..."

jihoon's saviour straightens and grins down at him, a genuine smile. jihoon finds himself looking away. the guy reaches out a hand toward jihoon, who took it after a moments hesitation and pulled him up to his feet as if he were weightless. jihoon mutters a thanks as he takes in the guy's appearance, avoiding looking him directly in the face. a white dress shirt and a black tie. pants covered his long legs and at his feet, polished black shoes. a businessman? nah he's much too young. jihoon wonders where this guy is heading to.

"is.. your shoulder okay?" jihoon asks, mustering up enough courage to look up at the man through his bangs. only to see him staring at him. they lock eyes and jihoon breaks it the next second.

"yep my shoulder's great. perks of growing up having to do a hundred push ups a day. builds resistance to save cute boys from falling onto roads" guy saviour replies casually. jihoon feels heat rising up his neck and face.

"ah, uh.." jihoon stutters and he feels like an idiot. did he just get complimented? "thank you again, uh.."

"daniel."

jihoon musters the courage to look him straight in the face, "thank you, daniel" he says again. jihoon can't help but notice how handsome he looks. he tears his eyes away when he realises he's staring and reaches for the headphones around his neck—thankfully unbroken, "good luck with you life."

"wait." jihoon jumps sightly when daniel grabs his arm, making him pause from putting his headphones on. he looks up at daniel and tries not to flinch back when he realises how close their faces were. "what's your name?"

jihoon doesn't see a reason to tell him. they were going to part ways anyway. but it was only fair. "jihoon," he replies.

well—parting ways was initially what jihoon had in mind. he wasn't planning to go around making friends he'll never see again after today. and yet daniel continues, "alright jihoon, you seem pretty free, join me for a cup of coffee?"

jihoon blinks at him a few times. he then realises daniel was being serious, "was that suppose to rhyme? and what makes you think i'm free?" (he is)

now it's daniel's turn to blink, "you're not?" he asks, looking at jihoon with what he would think of as his puppy eyes. jihoon tries not to feel weakened. an image of jinyoung and daehwi flashes through his mind and his face falls for a moment, but disappears quickly enough that he doubts daniel would notice.

he at least owes daniel this much for saving his life. strange requests or not.

 

daniel may believe in many things others usually don't, but he never believed in love at first sight.  
that's what he thought.

he doesn't know, or rather, recognise the feeling when he first looked into jihoon's eyes. it was like deja vu, it also felt _right._ he can't explain it. it's like nothing he's ever felt before but he knows he wants to hold on to it.  
(at this part someone would tell him his inner dreamer is showing. but what's so bad about that?)

daniel had just saved what possibly could be one of the prettiest boys he had ever seen. he definitely won't let this opportunity slip. and so he goes with his original plan.

he asks the pretty boy out for coffee.

he hadn't even considered the chance that jihoon had plans, yet by some stroke of luck he didn't. he wonders what good he done in his previous life to deserve such an opportunity.

he did notice how jihoon seemed down, which was obvious from the start. and daniel desperately wanted to know the reason why. but that is too personal and daniel is only a stranger.

 

"say, don't you have plans? are you sure you should be bringing me out for coffee?" jihoon asks daniel, looking him up and down. "unless casually dressing formal is a norm to you."

daniel hesitates, "i have an interview for a university." he checks his watch, "in a little more than 2 hours."

jihoon hums in reply, "what course?"

he senses daniel sigh beside him, "medicine"

jihoon glances at him through the corner of his eye, "not your decision?"

"nope."

"if you could decide, what would it be?"

without missing a beat, "creative writing. literature."

jihoon's eyebrows rise and the words slip out, "you don't strike me as the type."

daniel stops walking and jihoon does too. worried he offended daniel somehow, jihoon looks back but daniel is smiling at him, "what type am i, then?"

jihoon is surprised so he says the first thing that comes to mind, "um. firefighter?"

daniel laughs and resumes the walk, while jihoon reddens.

***

jihoon wonders how he got himself into this situation. he wouldn't have met or be walking next to some stranger—daniel if it weren't for the fact that he was leaving tonight. he wouldn't have ran out of yongguk and donghan's cafe, wouldn't have almost fallen onto the road and saved by some guy in a dress shirt that probably reads sappy poetry.

 _usually at this time i should be preparing for my shift._ he thinks as daniel points to the coffee shop across the street, _yup i'm suppose to be there at this time._

"wait what?" jihoon blurts out before he can stop himself.

daniel looks back at him, "hm? i asked if you're alright with this place, my friend recommended their frappes and lattes."

jihoon looks across at the coffee shop he's been working at for almost a year. it looks the same, yet it feels different and looking at it tugs something in his heart. _that's because guanlin suggested they make their own mini animal shaped marshmallows to add to the drinks. and woojin tends to go all out with his latte art._

"jihoon?"

"o-oh sure" jihoon stutters out (for the nth time that day). daniel frowns slightly for a split second before he places a hand on the small of jihoon's back, startling him and guiding him across the road.

daniel pushes open the door and jihoon is hit by its familiar scent. roasted coffee beans and the woody scent of its interior. its painted brick walls, chalkboards and wooden furniture. the coziness was what attracted jihoon to it in the first place.

he sees jinyoung at the counter using his phone, since the place is pretty empty in the morning. he looks up at the sound of the door opening, acknowledging daniel first with a slight nod and his eyes widening when they land on jihoon following closely behind.

jihoon puts a finger to his lips and lifts his other hand, hoping it's enough to convey _wait, ill explain soon._ he sees jinyoung nod in understanding and he's silently grateful that the one on counter duty was him and not woojin. whose body and mouth worked faster than his brain.

"one vanilla latte and one raspberry frappe," jinyoung repeats their order, tapping the screen and jihoon notices his mouth curving into a small smirk, "with low fat milk?"

jihoon rolls his eyes, glad daniel was behind him and didn't seem to notice, "yes."

"okay! have a seat, we'll serve your drinks shortly."

the two find seats near the wall, and jihoon dumps his bag down and excuses himself to the washroom. he looks back to check that daniel isn't watching when he takes a detour to the backroom. he's greeted by daehwi who hurled himself toward the older the moment he stepped in. "hyung! jinyoungie told us you came back, with a hot guy in a tie? explain yourself!" woojin hurls himself toward jihoon next, followed by guanlin. he hugs and greets the four of them and they listened to jihoon's summary of the events that happened that morning. how he ended up being brought back to the cafe he worked at by a stranger through a friend's recommendation.

"is it a date?" woojin asks.

jihoon picks a piece of lint from his sleeve, "why would someone who saved me from falling onto a road bring me out on a date right after?"

"he's interested in you?" guanlin suggests.

daehwi snorts, "hyung doesn't believe in love, remember?"

jihoon looks down and shrugs, "it won't work out anyway." he looks back up and gives a small smile. oh how he wishes he wasn't leaving, "it was nice seeing you guys again. ill see y'all soon," _whenever that is._ he's at the doorway of the backroom when he adds, not turning back, "by the way, i want the rabbit marshmallows on my frappe."

he blinks the tears from his eyes.

daniel is aware he barely knows jihoon, but he's quite sure that the latter doesn't normally act so spaced out.

what he _is_ quite sure of, is that he wants to get to know said cute boy more. he believes its fate that brought him here. he sees jihoon walking toward him out the corner of his eye. daniel thought it was cute how he clasps his hands in front of him as he walked. jihoon plops onto the chair across daniel and leans back, staring straight into daniel's eyes that he could see himself being reflected in jihoon's dark orbs.

"daniel."

"yes?"

"don't fall in love with me."

daniel chokes on his saliva. "what makes you think i will?"

"why did you bring me here?" daniel silences for a few moments.

"but why not?" he asks finally.

"because i won't fall for you." he then adds in a softer tone that daniel isn't sure if he's meant to hear, "because it wouldn't work out."

"how would you know?"

jihoon's face scrunches up, "i don't believe in love."

at that moment the barista arrives with their drinks, and either daniel is seeing things or said barista actually winked at jihoon. daniel has about a dozen different feelings towards that. "you will fall in love whether you want to or not." daniel counters, he notices that his latte art is in the shape of a cat. _a coincidence?_

"what those people feel are temporary. feelings fade." jihoon replies casually as he picks a marshmallow off his whipped cream. it looked suspiciously rabbit shaped. "they just want to believe life is full of more interesting things than just being alive. your love poets are delusionists"

daniel thinks that the statement should sting, yet his interest only heightens, "so you're living for the sake of being alive?" jihoon licks the powdered sugar off his fingers and nods, "isn't that how it is?" daniel snorts which makes jihoon look up at him from picking another marshmallow. "ive never met someone so passionate about not being passionate."

jihoon nibbles on the marshmallow and leans back onto the chair, "i'm honoured."

jihoon is quite sure they're being watched. he can tell from the movement every time he glances toward the counter.

jihoon knows that they want to be there when he starts feeling _something_ for _someone_ (and this is probably their last chance) so they can rub it in his face _hah, jihoonie the disbeliever has fallen for someone._ although they've had had that conversation before. not gonna happen. love is a temporary thing, a term used by dreamers. to jihoon it's all chemicals and neurotransmitters and hormones.

"what if i can make you fall in love with me?" daniel asks. jihoon sips his frappe and tilts his head.

daniel takes his phone out of his bag and after a series of taps, passes the phone over to jihoon. the latter looks at the screen and his brows rise so high they disappear under his bangs, 

"are you serious?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone's curious the barista i had in mind who winks at jihoon is woojin, although in reality he probably winks with both his eyes. probably.
> 
> (sorry for the cliffhanger & ty for reading <3)


	3. don't listen to your heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daniel knows he shouldn't. shouldn't be pining for a boy he literally _just_ met. but he is undeniably curious and he knows that if he leaves he will regret it. he remembers the boy at the coffee shop telling him _don't let jihoon regret._ daniel wonders what he had meant by that. and he gets the feeling that leaving won't lead him to answers. _good._ he thinks. he didn't want to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter haha ill tell you in advance this chapter won't end with another one
> 
> (in my opinion)

"it's an article i found recently" daniel explains as jihoon scrolls through the page.

"thirty-six questions designed to help you fall in love with anyone?" jihoon might not believe in love but the thought of being able to create it even between strangers was on another level.

"it's a psychological thing, let's say it's an experiment," daniel says cheerfully, "i thought you'd find it interesting." jihoon, surprisingly, does find himself interested. and it's probably evident on his face since daniel continues, "we don't have time for all thirty six, so we'll just pick one from each set"

jihoon scrolls down the page, there is a list of questions divided into three sets. and the questions become more personal and intimate than the ones in the previous set. "you can't create love, daniel. and taking shortcuts in experiments only make the results unreliable." jihoon says. "and then you'll have to repeat the experiment for more accurate results and we don't have time-" his eyes land on a certain line and they narrow, "staring into each other's eyes for four minutes..."

"we can do that last, and we'll just have to adapt." daniel adds with a shrug. jihoon can't hold a gaze for longer than five seconds, even with his friends. much less four minutes? and with a stranger? what has he gotten himself into.

 _technically if we were to do three of the thirty six questions then we'll have to do the staring for twenty seconds. but the end result will be a twelfth of whatever the results are suppose to be_ jihoon thinks to himself. he doesn't say it out loud though.

daniel reaches forward and plucks the phone out of jihoon's grasp. their fingers brush and jihoon's fingers tingle at the contact. "ill pick first," daniel announces, scanning though the list.

"number eight. name three things you and your partner have in common." a hint of a smirk tugs at his lips.

as far as jihoon knows, they're complete opposites. he rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. "hm. we're both guys."

it's daniel's turn to roll his eyes, and jihoon finds himself giggling. he notices daniel staring at him wide eyed and jihoon stops and finds himself blushing instead.

"erm.." jihoon looks down and sees his bag leaning against the side of the table, its metal badges glittering from reflecting the lights above their heads, "we have an interest in astrology?" he says, "although not in the same aspects. you poets always write about the same few things. love, death, loss, heartbreak, the stars, the planets, the universe. realistically speaking, polaris, the northern star, isn't actually the brightest star in the sky. if anything, it's far from—"

jihoon stops because daniel is staring at him again and his gaze is starting to do weird things to him. 

daniel puts his elbows on the table and rests his face on his palms, "you're cute when you talk facts. i like it." jihoon blinks at him as his brain comprehends the words and his gaze starts shifting to every spot around the room that is not daniel's face. daniel laughs at his fluster.

jihoon puffs out his cheeks. surprisingly, he doesn't hate this. more surprisingly, he likes daniel's laugh. _one more thing to go._ jihoon thinks for a few moments and an answer drifts into his mind. he doesn't know where the surge of bravery came from, maybe he just wants to let it out. he'll probably have to tell daniel eventually, this friendship or whatever that is between them, it won't last. tomorrow jihoon will be gone.

"we'll both have to go somewhere we don't want to go."

daniel is silent for a few moments, caught off guard by the answer. but before he can ask what jihoon meant, the latter reaches forward and plucks the phone out of his grasp. "my turn!" jihoon is scrolling through the second set of questions when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. 

 

it's subtle, but daniel notices the slight change in jihoon's almost joyous-like expression when he looks at the screen. it's a phone call, but jihoon is holding the phone at an angle that daniel can't read the caller's name. he swipes right and puts the phone up to his ear.

"hello?"

"i'm, um, out with my friends."

"uhh yeah them." his gaze flashes to the direction of the counter for a split second.

his face scrunches up, "how did you manage to leave _that_ behind?"

a pause. 

"fine," he sighs, hanging up.

jihoon slides his phone back into his pocket as he pulls his bagpack onto his lap, "sorry, looks i have to go." he says as he sips the rest of his frappe. he's on to the whipped cream layer when daniel suggests "ill go with you then" and jihoon chokes on the cream that unexpectedly went flying into his throat.

"don't you have your uni interview?" jihoon asks, deciding it's safer to drink the cream from the cup instead. 

_"i can postpone it" daniel thinks._  
"i have time" he replies.

jihoon rolls his eyes behind the cup, "how stubborn."

"persistent."

"same thing." jihoon sets his cup down, revealing a whipped cream moustache. daniel tries to suppress his laughter as he signals to jihoon, pointing at the skin above his upper lip. jihoon frowns slightly at him, "i'm not gonna kiss you?" daniel almost chokes as he clarifies, "no i mean there's cream on your face" and his brain temporarily disconnects with his body as he reaches a hand out and brushes the cream off jihoon's upper lip. the last of his brain wirings snap as he licks the cream off his finger and both boys freeze. daniel from the shock of what he had just done and jihoon from processing what had just happened.

jihoon makes a scandalised sound and backs into his chair. he's covering his face with his bagpack but daniel can see the tips of his ears reddening, his probably are as well.

"pervert!" jihoon cries, daniel hears someone snicker across the room.

"not funny woojinie" jihoon grumbles into his bag, side eyeing the figure sitting on one of the wooden tables. _should he be doing that?_ daniel wonders at the same time he realises that one, 'woojinie' was the barista who winked at jihoon and second, that the latter knew him.

"ah he's leaving" woojin observes, amused, as jihoon scurries out the coffee shop, "you'd better go catch him." he adds, diverting his attention to daniel.

stunned, daniel nods and heads toward the door. his hand is on the knob when woojin's voice cuts through his thoughts, "jihoon may seem cold but he's one of the sweetest people i know—okay don't tell him i said that." there's a short pause before he continues, "don't let him regret, daniel."

***

daniel has a funny feeling towards the way woojin had phrased the last part. but he didn't contemplate further because for the second time that day he was glancing left and right for a pink sweater cladded boy. which wasn't too hard to find him again since he had stopped only a couple steps away from the shop.

daniel doubts it would be a good idea to creep up behind jihoon after their little.. incident. so he tries to make his footsteps audible as he peeks over the younger's shoulder. jihoon ends up jumping in surprise anyway.

"jeez stop doing that," jihoon murmurs, hand over his chest. "really, shouldn't you be getting ready for the interview?"

"that can wait."

"this is your future we're talking about." jihoon reminds him as he resumes walking and daniel finds himself trailing behind like a puppy. he notices the maps application launched on jihoon's phone, and as if jihoon could read his mind, he explains, "i have to pick something up from my mom's workplace." they take a few more steps in silence before jihoon breaks it, "you're still following me?"

daniel knows he shouldn't. shouldn't be pining for a boy he literally _just_ met. but he is undeniably curious and he knows that if he leaves he will regret it. he remembers the boy at the coffee shop telling him _don't let jihoon regret._ daniel wonders what he had meant by that. and he gets the feeling that leaving won't lead him to answers. _good._ he thinks. he didn't want to leave.

he catches up to jihoon so they're walking side by side. he always followed his heart anyway. 

_"we'll both have to go somewhere we don't want to go"_

_where are you really going, jihoon?_

"i am," daniel replies.

 

instead of being ruled by logic, most people are ruled by emotions. an obvious example of the latter is daniel. 

there is the heart of dreamers—the one commonly expressed in poems. and yet people are ruled by it, and not the beating heart that keeps them alive. the poetic heart is not to be trusted with long-term decision making. it will lead you astray with false love and hope and dreams. it will tell you that this person in front of your eyes is _them._ that you must not lose them. it is fickle and jihoon doesn't trust it.

he shouldn't trust it.

he shouldn't be feeling the faint sense of happiness when daniel chooses to follow him.

there's no such thing as meant-to-be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: [the article is real](http://bigthink.com/ideafeed/how-to-fall-in-love-36-questions-and-deep-eye-contact)
> 
> srry this chapter is shorter than the previous ones but it felt appropriate to end there,,,, ill try to make up for it by making the next chapter longer^^ ty for reading !!
> 
> p.s. ipu is so good they sound like angels


	4. before my heart lets you go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jihoon peeks at daniel through his bangs, "I-" he hesitates, partially because daniel's fingers had brushed his at some point and now he's absentmindedly playing with them. "daniel stop it," he whispers so quietly daniel thought he imagined it, "i can't fall for you." a small smile forms on daniel's lips, "jihoon the believer now, huh?" jihoon scrunches up his face, absently chewing his lip. his eyes land on daniel's lips and he gulps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my dear dear readers !!! my sincerest apologies for the lack of updates >< tbh for the week after posting the previous chapter i was on a small writers block, and then it grew ㅋㅋㅋ and i was unmotivated, and then, baam it was the couple of weeks before midyears (my first exam is this friday, i should be studying) but every time i read the comments it makes me open up my draft and continue,, so here it is oof
> 
> ill leave y'all with this chapter !! ill be updating my 2park hogwarts fic first once i'm free from exams !! (i've neglected it to begin this story)(im sorry) thank u for your support !!

daniel is beyond relieved that jihoon doesn't hate him. they're definitely getting somewhere. 

physically wise—yes. the two of them are walking in silence, and the only sounds around them are the birds and occasional passers-by in small conversation. the silence isn't awkward, though not too comforting either. daniel could get used to it, although it is taking every ounce of his will not to notice the occasional brushing of their shoulders. he does anyway. 

daniel doesn't, however, notice that jihoon had been trying to get his attention. not until he felt a tug on his cuff. he turns toward jihoon to find the latter frowning at him, "earth to daniel?" he asks. daniel has the urge to press his fingers to jihoon's forehead to smoothen out the frown, he doesn't. restraint is back in his dictionary. "we're going to have to take the subway. three stations." 

"sure" he replies. he looks down and notices jihoon still holding onto his cuff, and seemed to be too distracted using his phone to let go. another thing daniel notices is that the indirect contact seems to be doing weird things to him.

daniel finally looks back up and sees a cyclist heading toward them. instinctively he tugs his sleeve out of jihoon's grip and before the latter could react, grabs his hand and pulls jihoon in front of him right as the cyclist passes them by. only then did daniel notice that there was about a metre of pavement from where jihoon was. which was more than enough space that they didn't have to move. daniel flushes with embarrassment at his impulse—until he feels jihoon squeeze his hand.  
_squeeze his hand?_

"thanks," jihoon says softly, "again." daniel finds that he likes the way his hand feels in his. slightly smaller but nice and warm. he slides his fingers into jihoon's so they intertwine and jihoon's oversized sweater sleeve is what's separating their palms from touching. daniel instantly regrets it, wondering if he's going overboard. and that he ruined the fragile _thing_ between them. he's considering on letting go when he feels another light squeeze. jihoon isn't looking at him but his head is slightly down, phone abandoned and dangling from his other hand. taking the chance, daniel squeezes back lightly. they're walking closer now, daniel having slowed down so they're at the same pace. and instead of the occasional shoulders brushing, their forearms are pressed against each other and daniel feels the softness of jihoon's sweater through the thin fabric of his shirt. he notices the younger's hold on his phone tightening and relaxing. the tips of his ears seemed a shade pinker, or maybe it's just the sunlight. daniel wonders if that's the sign that jihoon's feeling as nervous as he is. 

 

_observable fact: park jihoon has been nothing but a mess today._

first of all he really needs to start looking out wherever he goes. there isn't going to be a daniel saving him from every possible mode of transport for the rest of his life.

secondly, his hand somehow ended up in daniel's. and for some reason, he can't not notice how long his fingers are. the sensation is so overwhelming that he tries to focus on the texture of his phone strap instead. his attention drifts toward his other hand anyway.

they let go once they reach the entrance of the station. jihoon couldn't tell who did it first. no words exchanged, _thank god_. jihoon doubts he can trust himself with words. the two manage to find seats on the train, and the moment they've sat, daniel whips his phone out of his pocket. any hint of what had happened between them moments ago vanished. "now, where were we?"

jihoon blinks a couple times before understanding, _oh the experiment._ he vaguely recalls the questions he scanned through earlier before being interrupted by his mother's phone call. things like _truth_ and _dreams_ and _relationships_. all the questions seemed broad and imaginative, the kind with no definite answer. the kind you see in language papers where you have to describe emotions and feelings and beliefs. admittingly, jihoon isn't fond of those questions. there's no right and wrong answer, _frustrating._

jihoon leans over to consider the second set of questions, which one would he be most interested in finding out about daniel?

question fourteen caught his eye. _is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? why haven't you done it?_

"oh no you aren't considering the dream one, are you?" daniel's voice cuts through his thoughts, causing jihoon to jump and sit back in his seat. he didn't notice how close their faces were a moment ago.

"n-no," jihoon murmurs, "i wasn't?"

"you're asking me?" jihoon sees why he's been told he can't lie to save his own life.

"i think you already know the answer to that, though," daniel continues. "i dream to see the world. i dream to create worlds using words. sure, i want to help people. but there are other ways to do that, the arts can save lives too. why haven't i done it? i wonder." he mimics a voice, several octaves higher, "the world is changing and those who can't keep up won't survive in it."

jihoon tried to counter the statement, but couldn't come up with anything. so he settled for a "hmm." _that just leaves one more set._

"nope, hold up," daniel says as he scrolls down the page. "i wanna do this question." jihoon wonders if daniel is a mind reader. he too might be a mind reader because he knows which question daniel is referring to.

"question twenty-one," daniel begins.  
_knew it,_ jihoon thinks.  
"what roles do love and affection play in your life? ask me that."

jihoon sighs, he knows there's no point in avoiding it. after all, they still have a couple minutes till their stop. _these results were meant to be inaccurate from the start._

"what, daniel, do love and affection play in your life?" jihoon asks, gaze shitfting and fingers fiddling with the straps of his bag.

daniel's mouth curves up into a smile. and it's the kind of smile that makes your whole face glow. it's the kind of smile that jihoon can't handle seeing on the day he's leaving.  
but it's mesmerising. he wonders if he's ever had that look on his face, whether he had ever felt passion or _belief_ in something so strongly.

"love and affection is what greets me every time i return home. to others, it may come in many shapes and sizes. to me, it is small and soft and warm and comes in twos with pretty eyes and prettier paws-"

jihoon smacks daniel's arm and he pauses, turning to see the younger clutching his stomach and covering his mouth in a poor attempt to conceal his laughter. daniel feels laughter bubbling out of him too and soon, the two have received glares from give and take, half the passengers in their cabin.

"you're unbelievable." jihoon gets out, attempting to settle his features into neutrality. and failing. that made daniel glow with a sense of accomplishment. the warm and glowy feeling that comes with making someone smile. a comfortable silence falls between them. which surprises jihoon, who doesn't usually feel comfortable with anyone he isn't close to. he finds it peaceful, almost. he finds it worrying.

 

they're approaching their next stop and daniel stands up first, reaching a hand out to jihoon, who takes it out of impulse. blushing at some of the glances they're receiving. he doesn't let go of daniel's hand, though. even when they're out of the crowd of commuters. even when they're out of the station.

"what's the thing you have to do at your mom's office anyway?" daniel asks as they cross the road to the sidewalk. "picking up some documents, and a couple other things." jihoon replies casually. _transfer documents. the last of office supplies._ "really, you don't have to accompany me." _don't get close to me. it'll only make things harder later._ he tells, or rather pleads in his mind. unknowingly adding pressure to their interlocked hands. these signals daniel is getting say otherwise. 

because daniel squeezes back. and then did jihoon understand it was a lost cause. in the short time he knew daniel, he learnt the latter was stubborn and impulsive and most of all passionate. that in itself was terrifying.

jihoon's wristwatch beeps, signalling the start of the next hour. and jihoon remembers that it's noon, which is lunch break for the office staff. meaning no one will be at the office to let them in. he halts and sighs, daniel sending him a questioning look. jihoon explains the situation and trails off as he notices a glint in daniel's eyes. "i know what we can do in the meanwhile~" he announces in a sing song voice. "it's nothing bad," he clarifies, sensing jihoon's apprehension. he tugs jihoon's hand toward the direction they came from, and the latter follows.

***

"...norebang?" jihoon asks, looking up at the neon flashboard, lit up despite it being midday. they had retraced their footsteps back to the station and toward the less professional area of the district, bustling with workers on their break.

"you're gonna get recked," daniel smirks as he pushes open the door. jihoon doubts so.

they are lead to one of the smaller rooms, although it's still clearly meant to accommodate larger groups of people. it's dimly lit and lined with plush cushioned seats which jihoon immediately flops onto. "i'm tired." he says, voice muffled by the pillows.

"it's only been what, three hours?" daniel replies as he shuts the door behind him. only then did jihoon feel the smallness of the room, and the look on daniel's face made him think he's thinking the same. except it was only for a brief moment, maybe he had just imagined it.

daniel slides into the seat next to jihoon, their legs pressed against each other even though there was plenty of room. personal space? discarded. he loosens his tie and unbuttons his top button. it's not as if daniel was undressing, nothing scandalous. jihoon found it took an effort to tear his eyes away and stare at the table in front of him instead. he's considering adjusting the air conditioning temperature down. and then daniel is leaning back as jihoon reaches out for the song menu on the table.

he sets the menu onto his lap and flips through, "regarding your previous remark," he starts, " _you're_ the one who's gonna get recked."

daniel's brow quirks up, "is that a challenge?"

"you fight me?" jihoon retorts as he picks up the remote and punches in some numbers. the title of the song is displayed on the television in front of them.

_bts - boy in luv_

daniel blinks in surprise. he knows not to judge books by their covers, but jihoon? boy in luv? he does a double take to make sure he didn't read it wrong.

jihoon snorts, "you seem awfully surprised, don't chicken out on me, niel." daniel looked at him, eyes wide. jihoon too looked surprised. but the moment didn't last long as the start of the song was emitting through the speakers. jihoon slides out of the seat and walks to the front with the microphone in his hand. and to his credit, he turns to face daniel instead of the flashing lyrics on the screen.

jihoon starts, voice low and almost a rasp. daniel almost chokes—on nothing—in surprise. his voice is smooth and velvety, which daniel sort of expected, except in a totally different way. as he sings, "why are you shaking my heart?" he does small actions which daniel recognises from the original choreography. and he does it almost effortlessly, because there's only so much you can do wearing a pink sweater in a small space. and the next minute he's rapping, _god, is there anything this kid can't do?_ and he does it just as easily, flowing and pronouncing each syllable without trips. it's mesmerising.

"hold me tight before i kiss you, before my heart lets you go," jihoon's looking at daniel as he sings, and daniel finds his eyes landing on jihoon's lips on several occasions.

"even if you act cold, i can't push you out of my mind," this day is one he doesn't think he'll forget. he hopes jihoon thinks the same, enough that he'll be willing to see him again tomorrow.

"so that my heart can touch yours, ill run to you right now," he hits the high note steadily, and it's as if he's pouring out all his emotion (and vocal strength) into the mic. the scoreboard behind him is in a frenzy.

"say what you want, say what you want, what is it that you really want?"

 _what does he want?_  
he wants to savour this moment. he's never felt this way with anyone before. he knows they're polar opposites in more ways than one, but opposites attract. that's exactly what's happening right now.  
he hopes it's happening right now.

there's a glint in jihoon's eye, and he ends off with a wink. he turns back to see the numbers on the screen skyrocketing, and daniel can imagine him smirking.

the final score is flashed on screen, _98%._ daniel's jaw drops. jihoon pouts. "only!?" he exclaims.

"i didn't know you were into them” daniel adds in.

"you didn't know i existed till a few hours ago," jihoon replies, setting the mic back onto the table and returning to his spot on the couch. cheeks pink and glowing from the effort.

“not really.” daniel cuts in, jihoon looks at him. "i knew the right person was out there somewhere, i believed they were out there. i just hadn't met them yet and then i met you." the words come tumbling out—he's been doing that a lot lately—but he means every one of them. jihoon's staring at him, lips parted slightly and _boy has he never seen prettier lips in the universe._

"i can't do this," jihoon whispers. he squirms in his seat as if self conscious of how close they were sitting. _we'll both have to go somewhere we don't want to go._ the words resurface in daniel's mind, they had been nagging him since the moment they escaped jihoon's mouth.

"where are you going, hoonie?"

jihoon peeks at daniel through his bangs, "I-" he hesitates, partially because daniel's fingers had brushed his at some point and now he's absentmindedly playing with them. "daniel stop it," he whispers so quietly daniel thought he imagined it, "i can't fall for you." a small smile forms on daniel's lips, "jihoon the believer now, huh?" jihoon scrunches up his face, absently chewing his lip. his eyes land on daniel's lips and he gulps.

 _now or never._ daniel's hand travels from jihoon's fingers to his waist, and they both freeze for a split second. neither pull away. daniel's fingers hook around jihoon's belt loop and he tugs the younger to face him. he uses his free hand to cup jihoon's cheek, the latter sucking in a breath through his nose and exhaling softly through parted lips. eyes drifting up to meet daniel's. they're so close daniel can see himself reflected in jihoon's pupils, glassy and sparkling. jihoon tilts his head up, lips parted and inviting.  
and daniel can't resist an invitation.

they both lean in, eyes fluttering close and noses bumping before jihoon tilts his head to the side. his lips are just as soft as they look and he can taste the remnants of sweet cream from his frappe. daniel feels jihoon's hands flutter lightly onto the sides of his shirt, as if hesitating. daniel too, hesitates, wondering if they're going too fast. but jihoon grips his side in the end, and daniel is surprised by his strength. he feels the younger smile as he slides his hands up to daniel's shoulders, and in a burst of bravery he takes the opportunity to pull jihoon clumsily onto his lap. the younger making a small sound of surprise, chests bumping as he half falls on daniel. jihoon breaks the kiss and daniel whimpers at the lost contact.

"how was that?" jihoon asks, cheeks tinted pink and eyes sparkling. he looked absolutely ethereal.

"for a first time?" daniel considers, "amazing," he grins, drunk from the high of the kiss. and before jihoon could react his hands are tangled into his hair and he's pressing their lips together. and in that moment daniel felt as if for the past eighteen years of his life he had been lost, wandering, and now he finally found his way home, not in a place but in a person.

they pull apart again and daniel can't help but wonder if the temperature of the room dropped. jihoon's gaze had drifted to a spot on the couch opposite them and was chewing on his bottom lip, glistening and red and daniel is silently pleased to be the reason for it.

jihoon turned his head back to face daniel, except his eyes were still down and would not meet his. daniel thought maybe he was just shy. he tips the younger's chin up to look at him, but what came out of his mouth next almost made him drop his hand in surprise.

"i'm sorry." he's biting his lip again.

"what for?" daniel asks, for the umpteenth time that day he's frustrated and confused. people are like vast rooms with small windows. _what is bothering you? please just tell me._ his heart aches for no reason. "i get that you might not know me well enough to tell me, but see me again tomorrow, when we don't have errands to run."

jihoon's head snaps up to look at him, and he looks as if he's considering how to respond, but snaps out of it at the sound of his phone buzzing. daniel starts to wonder when he started acting in a sappy, cliched romance drama.

jihoon answers, and a couple of seconds later, puts his phone down. "the office workers are back, we should head over now. i don't want you to be late for your interview because of me."

daniel rolls his eyes, but he gets up anyway. pausing to gently karate chop the top of jihoon's head. "how many times do i have to tell you the interview is my problem?" he asks as he walks out, a tone caught between gentle and rough, leaving a dazed jihoon in his wake. words waited in his mouth, unsaid. the latter swallowed and winced as if they scratched on the way down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something i should've foreeen before writing this is all the dreamer-realist debates these two are gonna have oof sorry if they seem sappy? idk what i'm writing anymore


	5. time counts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jihoon turns the other direction and wipes his face with his sweater as he walks, coming off slightly damp. jihoon wonders when the tears started to fall, _so much for no more tears today_. he turns on his phone to check the time, _3:24pm_ , he still has hours to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there’s gonna be quite a lot of perspective changes, you can figure out the reason why ;p (every large spacing between paragraphs shows a perspective change)
> 
> i wrote this chapter in less than 2 days :o that usually doesnt happen,, maybe i was feeling particularly angsty,, did i just say that?

if jihoon had known they would get this far he never would have let daniel buy him coffee. he never would have let daniel follow him. it’s been getting harder and harder for jihoon to _just tell him_. because as much as he hates to admit it to himself, he’s enjoying the time they’re having together. he doesn’t want daniel to leave him to face the last few hours in the city—his city—by himself. and the fact that daniel hasn’t looked at him since they left the norebang isn’t helping. he’s walking slightly ahead, probably by retracing their steps before jihoon has to take over to lead them the rest of the way. he quickens his pace slightly so they’re side by side, and daniel slows his down. jihoon hates how he could notice it. 

jihoon sees daniel’s hands shoved into his pants pockets, and he gently tugs the cuff of his shirt, urging the older to take his hand out. daniel does. jihoon’s five fingers interlace daniel’s last three.

“daniel. niel. talk to me.” he whispers.

“haven’t we been doing that?” daniel answers, voice above a whisper but softer than usual. jihoon absently chews on his lip, free hand playing with a loose thread from his sweater.

“stop that. you’ll chap your lips,” daniel chides, bringing his free hand to jihoon’s lips, his other hand still intertwined with jihoon’s. jihoon freezes, lips slightly parted as daniel’s thumb brushes its surface, surveying the damage. jihoon surprises them both by planting a peck on his thumb.

“kiss me,” jihoon murmurs under his breath. his mind is telling him this is the exact opposite of what he should be doing, but his heart says otherwise. and jihoon realises then how different reason and heart can be. he never thought he’d decide to listen to the latter. 

he’s starting to wonder if daniel heard him until he feels a hand rest on his nape, guiding his head upward as it slides slowly up and daniel’s fingers tangle themselves in his hair. jihoon feels the soft pressure of his lips on his ear lobe and trailing down, cheek to jaw to the corner of his mouth and finally to his lips. except the kiss was quick and over before it even started. jihoon can’t help the disappointment from showing on his face. 

“c’mon, let’s go hoonie,” daniel prompts, tugging jihoon forward by the three fingers he hadn’t realised he had started squeezing at some point. 

jihoon leads for the rest of the walk, holding onto daniel’s three fingers as if he would disappear if he let go. he doesn’t want to let go. not yet.

 

they reach the building and the automatic doors open for them. one of the workers on desk duty look up, and jihoon recognises her as one of his mom’s colleagues. _ex colleagues_ , “ah jihoon! the documents you’re looking for are upstairs in the meeting room drawer. oh wow, you’ve grown since the last time i saw you!” she says as she rounds the desk, “i’ll miss seeing you and your parents around, take care, yeah?” she adds, and jihoon freezes, wondering what daniel’s thinking after hearing the last part. _at most he’ll think mom’s moving workplaces, no biggie._

the lift doors are opening when daniel says suddenly, “i have to go to the restroom, i’ll be here when you’re done,” and he’s turning round and walking toward the restrooms. his back is the last thing jihoon sees as the lift doors close.

 

when daniel hears the lift doors shut, he takes a detour and walks over to the desk instead. “excuse me,” he begins, and the desk lady looks up, “may i ask...”

 

jihoon would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried whether daniel would still be there when he returned, so he had to hide his relief when he sees daniel lounging on the couch when he steps out, documents kept nicely in his bagpack. daniel sees him too and flashes him a small smile as he stands up and the two head toward the exit.

“how long till your date with destiny?” jihoon asks.

“a little less than an hour, it’s around the area too.” daniel replies, “or should i postpone it to tomorrow?” he adds as if it were an afterthought.

“what? no! get it over and done with,” jihoon exclaims, “then you won’t have to worry about it tomorrow.”

that made daniel stop in his tracks. jihoon does to. he notices the silence between them is nothing like their usual silences.

“are we parting ways here, then?” daniel asks, his voice is quiet like earlier. but it’s a very different kind of quiet. “i might not have much worrying after this interview is over, though i don’t think you can say the same for yourself.”

“w-what do you mean?” though jihoon knew what daniel would say before he even opened his mouth.

“you’re leaving today. why didn’t you tell me earlier?” daniel asks, in the same quiet voice and yet it fills jihoon’s ears all the same. “you let me fall for you, you made me hope—were you playing with me this whole time?”

jihoon’s jaw almost drops. “i would ne—i warned you not to fall for me” jihoon murmurs, though he realises it’s useless. it’s his fault things went too far, he should have said it from the beginning. but how did he know they’d get this far, how did he know he’ll feel so much?

“well you didn’t warn hard enough. you could have just said ‘daniel i’m leaving’ not, ‘daniel don’t fall in love with me’”

“i did say it, i did tell you to leave.”

“yes but i didn’t think you meant it.”

“and whose fault is that?”

daniel doesn’t respond. they’re not shouting but they aren’t whispering either. people across the street cast glances toward them but jihoon is too overwhelmed by a wave of emotions to care.

daniel looks over at jihoon then, and there’s sadness in his eyes. “i hope america treats you well.” jihoon swallows, except his throat feels too tight and his vision is blurry. he bites the inside of his cheeks to stop tears from falling. he’s already been through half the day, he won’t break down now. 

daniel reaches for jihoon’s hand and his thumb is stroking his knuckles. jihoon’s mind drifts back to the norebong. it’s hard to believe they were there only an hour ago. jihoon feels a warm pressure above his brow as daniel leans forward and presses his lips to his forehead. left. right. he feels strong arms around his side as daniel pulls him closer. jihoon’s eyelids flutter close as daniel’s lips trail down and press on his left eyelid and then his right. he opens his eyes and stands on his tiptoes before daniel releases him and plants a kiss on his lips. short and sweet—was what he was going for. except he can’t seem to pull away, and daniel is kissing him back with the same intensity, the grip around his waist firmer, and jihoon can't help but feel safe within the embrace. he hopes the feelings in their kiss is conveying the words jihoon can’t say. _i’m sorry. i never meant for this to happen. i wish things were different._

_i know its selfish but i don’t want you to leave._

they pull apart, and daniel’s the first to speak. “it was nice meeting you, park jihoon. i hope you get into the science course you want.” daniel says as he stuffs his hands into his pockets. jihoon nods, he’ll miss holding those hands.

“good luck with your interview, daniel. whether you end up in medicine or the arts,” jihoon says, “good luck with your life.” he adds, remembering he had said the same words hours earlier, with the intention of daniel doing what was happening now. except this time it hurt more to say.

they stand there facing each other, as if to take in as much of the other as possible. daniel’s the one who turns around first, probably heading for the interview.

jihoon turns the other direction and wipes his face with his sweater as he walks, coming off slightly damp. jihoon wonders when the tears started to fall, _so much for no more tears today._ he turns on his phone to check the time, 3:24pm, he still has hours to go. jihoon sighs and looks up at the sky. it’s a cloudless clear blue and a breeze lifts strands of his hair.

maybe he should have asked daniel for his number. 

he doesn’t even know his last name.

 

daniel doesn’t take more than three steps before looking back. he sees jihoon heading the other direction, wiping his face with his sweater. it’s taking every ounce of will for daniel not to turn back. because what would be the point of that? they’ll be back to square one. and they’ll have to go through the goodbye process all over again.

another thing is that, he lied. the interview wasn’t in the area, it was where they were before. the school was near the shopping district where they first met. daniel had only lied so that he could be with jihoon longer. and look where that got him.

he doesn’t feel sorry, though. despite what happened, kang daniel is still a firm believer of fate, and even if fate isn’t real, he believes in series of small coincidences, just like the ones that lead him there.

he puts his life in the hands of the universe.

jihoon is gone the second time he turns back.

 

jihoon doesn't know how long he spent walking aimlessly around the district, though he’s certainly not planning to head home and lie on boxes. no, he needs to talk to someone. he _could_ go back to the coffee shop, or..

he turns on his heel and heads back to the subway.

 

daniel finds a seat on the subway and across him is a couple holding hands. the girl’s head is on the boy’s shoulder, hair tied up and its ends dyed a dark purple which seem to glow when sunlight lands on it. they’re both wearing matching couple tees. half a heart on the side of their shirts so it forms a heart when they sit together. he can imagine jihoon next to him, rolling his eyes and saying something along the lines of _where is the originality._ daniel smiles at the thought, before tearing his eyes away and looking out the window instead.

 

on the next subway, jihoon feels the ride is a lot longer without daniel there to keep him company, talking about cats and poetry and things jihoon never thought he’d be interested in hearing. his headphones are back on, and he’s twirling the cord around his finger as he imagines how much his life will change in twenty-four hours. no, it’s already started to change.

jihoon taps out of the gantry and takes the steps down, two at a time. he turns toward the direction of the shopping district and finds his eyes drawn to a couple holding hands by a wall. the ends of the girl’s hair are dyed a purple and tied up in a ponytail. she looks up toward her boyfriend before standing on her tiptoes and planting a kiss on his jaw, he smiles at her and jihoon wonders if anyone would look at him like that.  
_again._

before he looks away, he notices half a heart on the side of their shirts. right side for the girl and left side for the boy. _couple t-shirts_ he thinks to himself. _how unoriginal._

 

daniel feels his phone buzz in his pocket. he’s walking in the direction of the university, and he is nowhere near prepared for the interview.

he opens up the message and doesn’t know if he should thank his lucky stars or curse them when he reads that his interview is postponed till the next day due to _urgent matters._  
_so much for getting it over and done with._

he sighs, before he turns back and heads toward the direction of home. maybe he’ll start writing that poem. the one where its stanzas started forming in his mind every second he spent with jihoon.

_”excuse me, may i ask,” daniel began. the lady looks up and smiles at him,_

_”ah! you’re jihoon’s friend right? or..”_

_”you could say i am, we kind of met today.”_

_”oh.. that’s a shame.”_

_”why?”_

_”he and mr and mrs park are leaving tonight, they’re transferring offices to our branch in the states.” daniel probably couldn’t keep the shock from showing on his face, because the lady continued, “oh my, he didn’t tell you?” daniel shakes his head, “i’m sorry, i don’t know what he was thinking, but i’m sure you two can keep in touch, through message or phone.” daniel found himself nodding, before making his way toward the couch. he tries to interpret the words differently. rearranging them, detecting ambiguity, nothing._

_we'll both have to go somewhere we don't want to go_

_jihoon_  
park _jihoon_

_leaving._  
_transferring._  
_states._  
_tonight._

 

jihoon found himself back at the cat cafe. the sign above the door swaying gently with the wind. _cafe de kitten._ jihoon takes a breath in and out, before pushing open the door. yongguk’s the one who sees him first, “eh? jihoon? you’re back!” he says before turning toward the direction of the counter, calling, “donghan! jihoon’s back!”

“really!?” comes a voice from behind the counter, before donghan's head pokes out. he’s wearing a cat ear headband, and jihoon notices yongguk’s wearing one too. he can’t help the smile that forms on his face at the sight. “hoon hoon! what brings you back?”

jihoon bites his lip, “could we talk?”

yongguk leads him to one of the tables, one with short legs. jihoon lowers himself onto a cushion on the floor, sitting cross-legged as a white cat makes its way over and purrs, snuggling into jihoon’s side. he strokes its head as donghan sits down on a cushion next to him, in his hand a white cat ear headband which he places onto jihoon’s head.

“so what do you want to talk about?” yongguk asks. jihoon looks around, hoping he isn’t bothering their business. but the two tables of customers seem to be busy playing with the other cats.

“i think i fell for someone. today, of all days, and here, of all places,” jihoon admits.

donghan looks at him sadly, “oh jihoon, and to think you were the kid who rejected left and right claiming love isn’t real.”

jihoon shifts his weight on the cushion, “i know.”

“where are they?” donghan asks.

“we split up. he has a university interview today. around now.” jihoon sighs, “i didn’t even ask for his number. maybe he hates me.”

“why would he hate you? you’re a ginormous sweetheart, i bet he knows that." yongguk says. "did you ask which university? there’s one a couple blocks down.”

jihoon shakes his head, “he said the school was back where we parted ways. so there’s no way for me to find him again.” he puts his arms on the table and cradles his head in them, “he thinks i played his feelings, maybe i did. i was selfish, i didn’t want him to leave.” he says, voice muffled by his sweater. “i think i hurt him.”

he sees donghan move from the corner of his eye, and the next second he feels arms around his middle, a chin resting in the crook of his neck. donghan has always been a touchy person, and jihoon finds himself relaxing into the hug. yongguk slides closer to him and pets his head. jihoon has a faint sense that the two treat their cats the same way. he does like it, though. maybe he’s turning into a cat.

yongguk’s hand starts combing through his hair, and jihoon’s eyelids start to feel heavy. “y’know, jihoon, i don’t think it’ll be the last time you see him.”

jihoon closes his eyes and wishes that were true.

 

daniel’s really not in the mood to go home. he knows his parents are going to nag him to _make good use of the extra day he has_ and _start rehearsing. tell them what they want to hear._

he looks for a sign, like what he usually does when things aren’t going as planned. and then he realises, as if he hadn’t been pondering over it for the past few minutes.

no interview. he has hours to spare.  
time. time counts.

his legs are moving toward _that place._ he should be with him right now, even if today is all they have. especially if today is all they have.

he hopes fate is on his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost ended the fic when they split up but that would be too short for a chapter :/ so i ended it on a more hopeful(?) note (writing this at 12am hurt me too) (pls don’t kill me) or pls do i have a national exam in a week so i’ll be updating/finishing both my ongoing fics when it’s over adjhfskldsfj
> 
>  
> 
> im tempted to write a nielwink cat cafe au *-* or maybe with another niel ship idk


	6. i'm here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daniel uses the tangled grip jihoon’s legs have on his as a pivot and flips himself on top of the younger, forearms resting on either side of his head. “i like you, park jihoon. i like you a lot. i can’t just _find someone else_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oKAY im sorry this took so long to come out?? i survived my exams and im on break so i managed to get this chapter done^^
> 
> ill try to get the next (and also last) chapter up before school starts again in a weEK ;^;
> 
> meanwhile i hope u like this chapter!! i think its the longest so far?

daniel pushes open the shop’s door for the second time that day. only this time he’s alone. the air was filled with the aroma of roasted coffee beans and baking pastries and daniel can’t help but reminisce about the last time he was here, barely a few hours ago and somehow doesn’t feel that way.

“daniel?” he hears a familiar voice, and daniel’s heart skips a beat before he turns toward the voice and realises it wasn’t jihoon. it’s the boy who spoke to him before he left, one of his friends.

_don’t let him regret, daniel_

“ah you’re.. woojinie?” daniel asks, recalling the name jihoon had addressed him.

“it’s woojin, but you can call me that too if you want.” woojin replies, a hint of a smile on his face before it vanishes. “where’s jihoon? no—by your expression when you came in i assume you thought he’ll be here?”

daniel tries to ignore the way his heart dropped. “so he isn’t?”

woojin shakes his head, “he hasn’t called either.” he says as he continues piling more plates onto a tray. he pauses, “did he tell you?”

“that he was leaving? yes.”

something in his voice made woojin turn to face him, along with a sympathetic smile, “how.. far did it go?”

images flash through daniel’s mind. _interlaced fingers. norebang. embraces. kisses. his full pink cheeks, his starry eyes, his soft lips. jihoon._ and then more images. _cheeks wet, glassy eyed, biting his lips as he walked away._ daniel blinks himself back to reality. “too far.”

woojin sighs and shakes his head, “it’s amazing how you broke through that wall of his. and to think i thought there wouldn’t be anything to worry about.”

daniel felt that he should have taken offence at that. but his feelings are too jumbled up a mess for him to feel anything properly. “wait here, i’ll go get my phone.” woojin says, clumsily carrying the tray of plates and mugs to the back in a way that it’s miraculous he didn’t drop any.

he comes back a couple minutes later, phone pressed to his ear as he walks toward daniel. only to end the call with a frown. “he’s not answering.” woojin mumbles, dialling his number again. _maybe he’s at home_ daniel thinks to himself, _maybe he can’t hear his phone ringing._ he bites his lip out of worry, it becoming a habit the least of his concerns.

woojin’s about to hang up for a second time when another call comes in, daniel notices woojin furrow his brow slightly at the name before answering.

“hello? donghan?”

 

“ggukie, what should we do?” donghan asks yongguk, arms still around jihoon who, he then noticed, had fallen asleep on their table. _huh. ggukie’s sleep-inducing head pet sedative thing works on humans too._

“i don’t know, call woojin and the others?” yongguk suggests. “no, i think they beat us to it.” he adds, pointing to the incoming call on jihoon’s phone which was peaking out under his arm-pillow. donghan wonders how the position’s comfortable.

donghan removes his arms slowly from jihoon’s sides and reaches into his pocket for his own phone, so as not to wake jihoon up. he searches woojin’s contact and calls.

it rings once before woojin picks up.

 

daniel can’t help but listen in on the conversation. to his defence there really wasn’t anything better to do other than pretending not to listen, and daniel couldn't have stopped himself if he tried.

“oh! really? no, i think it’s alright,” he hears woojin say. followed by a quick glance at daniel who returns it with a raised brow. “don’t wake him up yet, because, well, he’s here” woojin adds before hanging up. 

woojin turns toward daniel, whose face was a mask of confusion. “you know the cat cafe down the road?”

***

daniel’s out of the cafe for the second time that day. he’s made it this far, he can’t back out now. although some nagging part of him says otherwise. he retraces his steps back to the cat cafe, back where he had picked up an odd eyed cat that strayed, back to the place where he first saw jihoon.

the cafe looked the same as before, which is no surprise. after all, it’s been only a couple of hours. 

although a lot can happen in a couple of hours.

he spots the boy who he had passed the escaped cat to earlier. the taller one of the two owners. they make eye contact and daniel smiles nervously, “hey, i heard.. jihoon’s here?” the boy’s eyes widen upon recognising daniel. “you’re—“ he starts, before shaking his head as if he were seeing things. “it’s a small small world.” he mumbles to himself before pointing vaguely behind him, “he’s sitting at the back,” the taller male adds with a wink.

daniel walks over to the back hesitantly, wondering if this was a mistake—running back to jihoon despite being the one who ran away first. he cautiously lowers himself onto the cushion across jihoon, who has his head cradled in his arms, a cat ear headband nestled in his hair. the fluorescent lights create shadows, bringing out a sharpness to his features. and yet he looks vulnerable in his pink sweater, soft lips, high cheekbones and pretty, pretty eyelashes. he looks ethereal and way too fucking cute and it’s unfair and daniel can’t take his damn eyes off him.

he should be avoiding this. what was he thinking. can daniel do this? he doubts he can.

daniel starts reconsidering when jihoon shifts in his sleep, making daniel freeze in his spot. jihoon tilts his head sideways and causes the headband to slip off his hair. daniel finds himself reaching out to adjust it, when he hears a soft murmur escape jihoon’s lips,  
“niel...”

daniel’s breath hitches, and a split-second decision later his hand slides down from adjusting the headband. instead his fingers brush through jihoon’s hair, his thumb trailing over his cheekbones. he murmurs back,  
“i’m here.”

 

jihoon dreamt—against his will, for who can control their dreams?—of daniel.

_they were in jihoon's room, and everything was where it was suppose to be. his stuffed toys outlining his bed, his books lining the shelves. in the evening he wouldn’t be going anywhere unless it was with daniel. that is to say—it was perfect._

_jihoon's at his desk doing his chemistry homework, absently chewing on the end of his pencil. daniel’s lying on the bed behind him, probably writing sappy poetry. or reading it. same thing._

_“hooniee” he hears daniel whine behind him. he pretends not to hear, knowing it would upset the older. and being the awful person he is, jihoon enjoys it. “hoonie i know you can hear me. stop doing your homework and cuddle with me.” he complains._

_jihoon punches some numbers into his calculator, still not turning until he hears a thump behind him. wondering if the stupid puppy fell off his bed, he’s halfway turning when a pair of arms snake around his waist and lifts him out of his desk chair. jihoon squeals as daniel carries him to his bed and throws him onto it._ his own bed. _jihoon rolls away just in time before daniel throws himself onto it, grinning._

_”you ass.” jihoon pouts, before erupting into giggles when daniel tickles his sides. they’re lying on the bed facing each other, the room cold from air conditioning. maybe a bit too cold._

_”you’re paying more attention to your homework than me. what about_ our _chemistry?” jihoon rolls his eyes, “our chemistry is forever. my chemistry homework is due tomorrow.” he says, though he doesn’t move from his position and instead, pokes daniel’s stomach. daniel flinches slightly from the coldness of jihoon’s finger._

_”you’re freezing.” daniel comments, tugging jihoon’s oversized sweater to cover his palms before pulling him closer, resting his chin on jihoon’s head and wrapping his arms around him. daniel’s warmth spread throughout jihoon like a blanket, and maybe he did feel a little tired._

_“niel” jihoon murmurs._

_”i’m here” he hears daniel murmur back._

_”i ___ you.”_

jihoon shifts before opening his eyes. _a dream?_ he remembers he’s back at the cat cafe, and the day’s past events flood back. he remembers walking away from daniel, and his chest hurts at the memory. he misses him already. and then a familiar voice drags back the remaining consciousness he left in dreamland. “morning sunshine”

he looks up, and his eyes widen. “d-daniel?”

“hey hoonie.” daniel smiles at him, and he blinks a few times, wondering if he’s seeing things, wondering if he’s still dreaming. he pinches himself and it hurt. daniel isn’t disappearing either. his chest is thumping so hard its starting to hurt too.

it’s him  
he’s here  
“you came back,” jihoon breathes in astonishment.

 

a sandy brown cat lands on their table soundlessly, and daniel makes a delighted sound before stroking its head.

“why?” daniel hears so softly he wondered if he imagined it. he looks up to see jihoon staring at him. “why did you come back? what about your interview?”

there’s no point in lying, so he goes along with the truth. “interview got postponed till tomorrow. and i came back because..” he pauses. “i missed you.”

surprise flashes across jihoon’s face, before it is replaced by a slightly bitter smile. “we were separated for less than an hour. what will happen when i’m gone for.. who knows how long.” he adds in a quieter tone, “i missed you too. i thought you’d hate me.”

“that would make things easier, except i don’t. and i can’t. so there’s that.”

“i’m sorry, for not telling you, i s-“ daniel cuts him off, “shh, i’ve heard enough apologies in a day, it gets exhausting.” he checks his watch, 4:03pm. they still have time, though not a lot. “what do you want to do?” daniel asks.

“there.. isn’t anything i have to do..” jihoon starts, “no,” he glances up at daniel between his bangs and back down just as fast, “can we go to your house?”

not expecting that request, daniel blinks in response. how long has it been since he let someone step foot into his house? the last time he brought someone home was seongwoo back in middle school, and, well, he hasn’t let anyone come since. he liked to keep his home life and his social life separate, his expectations and his enjoyments. the balance between the two is the few things that keeps him sane, an anchor. jihoon, however, belongs in neither. and then daniel realises he should say something before the silence becomes awkward. “surewhynot” the words string out, more clumsy then he would have liked.

he forgets about it at the sight of the small smile that formed on the younger’s face.

 

daniel hopes the house will be empty when they reach. he is not ready to answer a bombardment of questions. and more so the _"so, daniel, this is one of your friends?'_

he unlocks and swings open the apartment door quieter than he usually does, like a child trying to sneak home unnoticed. daniel definitely feels that’s what he’s doing. he relaxes slightly when no one comes out to greet them, meaning the house is theirs for the time being. jihoon leaves his shoes by the entrance and pads around in his socks, looking around as if he were in a museum.

“would you like anything to eat?” daniel asks, it’s basic host courtesy, right? he reaches into the fridge for his bag of jellies and pops one into his mouth. jihoon shakes his head in response before pointing to the room he’s standing outside of. “this is your room, isn’t it? it smells of cat.” daniel snorts, “yeah yeah go in and make yourself at home.”

he follows shortly after, finding jihoon sprawled across his bed. considerate.

“scoot.” daniel says, jihoon doesn’t budge.

he sighs and rolls jihoon over himself, daniel sits on the edge of the bed, reconsiders, and then lies down next to jihoon.

“i don’t want to leave,” jihoon murmurs to the wall daniel rolled him against, he turns over so he faces daniel, “i want to stay here.”

daniel reaches up and tucks a lock of hair behind jihoon’s ear. the latter’s eyes flutter close when daniel asks, “you’ll come back, won’t you?”

“i don’t know.” jihoon replies honestly, eyes still closed. “my parents will be working throughout the year. and even if they allowed me to come back, i don’t have any relatives here to stay with.”

 _you could stay with me_ daniel wants to say, except he himself is unsure what would happen in the next two, three years. will he be staying in a dorm? would he be living on his own? would he still be here?

“do you regret it?” jihoon asks, before daniel could reply his previous statement, slowly opening his eyes, left, right. “everything that happened today, do you regret it? should we never have met?” jihoon’s voice trembles at the last few words, but his gaze is steady. “tell me honestly daniel, it won’t hurt me.” in response daniel’s hand slides down from the side of jihoon’s hair, fingers grazing his neck down to his side and causing jihoon to shiver before finally landing on his waist. he pulls the younger closer so he can rest his chin on his head, the faint scent of strawberry shampoo wafts up his nose. “meeting you was the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” daniel murmurs, rubbing circles on the small of jihoon’s back. “meeting you wasn’t a mistake, and if i had a choice i’d spend this one day with you all over again.” daniel hears jihoon’s sharp intake of breath, and the room is pin drop quiet for three seconds before it is filled by the sound of his soft exhale and the distant sounds outside the window.

“okay,” jihoon breathes out, voice muffled by daniel’s shirt, contented with the answer. he tilts his head up and leaves a peck on daniel’s throat, “i feel the same, and it scares me.”

daniel kisses his forehead, “tell me more about yourself.”

“park jihoon. born may twenty-ninth nineteen ninety-nine. i like eating and playing video games, oh and pineapple on pizza”

“you like what?”

“eating?”

“no, after that. pineapple on pizza? are you serious?”

jihoon looks up and narrows his eyes, “and i infer you don’t?”

“this relationship’s over”

“we were in one?”

daniel snorts and kisses the top of jihoon’s head, “i realise we haven’t properly discussed our relationship.”

“well isn’t that a problem.” jihoon comments, and daniel can sense him smiling as jihoon tangles their legs together. “you’re mine and i’m yours, at least till the end of today. end of discussion.” he then adds in a quieter tone, “and then you can find someone else.”

daniel brings a finger up under jihoon’s chin and tilts his head upward so they look each other in the eye, “and what happens if i can’t find anybody else?”

“kang daniel, i doubt you’ll have any trouble finding anyone.”

daniel raises a brow, dropping his hand from jihoon’s chin but the younger is still looking at him. “you know my first name.” he notices, more of a statement than a question.

“it’s on the nameplate by the door.”

“oh”

“idiot”

“if i’m an idiot then you’re one too.”

jihoon scrunches his nose at that, “i don’t think that’s how it works.”

daniel uses the tangled grip jihoon’s legs have on his as a pivot and flips himself on top of the younger, forearms resting on either side of his head. “i like you, park jihoon. i like you a lot. i can’t just _find someone else."_

jihoon’s cheeks tinge pink, and daniel thinks for the umpteenth time that the colour suits him very well.

“you can’t just hold on forever,” jihoon starts, “it’ll—“ daniel cuts him off when he suddenly leans forward and presses their lips together hard, and then breaks it a second later. a quick peck and yet it leaves jihoon flustered and several shades redder. he also didn’t complete his previous statement which was daniel’s goal. mainly. partly.

“much better.” daniel grins, earning a glare from the younger.

what he doesn’t expect is jihoon grabbing his tie and tugging him down till their faces are inches apart. jihoon’s eyes are sparkling, reflecting the sunlight streaming in through the window. they’re close enough that daniel can see himself in them, and next he’s finding himself holding his breath. trying to keep the eye contact but finds them drifting down to jihoon’s lips anyway. betrayers.

jihoon’s smirking when he tugs daniel’s tie again, closing the distance between them and bringing their lips together. they start off slow and gentle, daniel’s hands shifting to cup jihoon’s cheeks. until daniel finds himself coaxing open jihoon’s mouth, taking the chance to bite on his lower lip. a soft moan escapes jihoon’s lips, and daniel finds it suddenly harder to breathe until he realises jihoon’s been pulling on his tie, tightening it around his throat. 

“are you trying to choke me?” he murmurs, lips not leaving jihoon’s.

“hell no, that’s kinky,” jihoon murmurs back, though he losens daniel’s tie before reaching up to pull at the strands of hair near his nape. a low moan escapes daniel despite his clenched jaws, and he feels jihoon’s lips curve into a smirk.

daniel breaks their kiss and flops back onto the bed unceremoniously. he’s panting slightly and despite the air conditioning the room is suddenly too warm. he turns and sees jihoon, rosy cheeks and redder lips which daniel unconsciously reached out a finger to trace.

“sorry, maybe i shouldn't—“ daniel starts only to be cut off by jihoon clamping a hand over his mouth. daniel frowns at him, _payback much?_

“i don’t know what i was thinking either. and, um, sorry for almost choking you.” he adds sheepishly as he removes his hand. “now it’s your turn. kang daniel, tell me about yourself.”

“okay.” daniel begins, “my name’s kang daniel,” he manages to get out before jihoon slaps his arm. 

“ow, jeez park. december tenth nineteen ninety-seven. i own two cats named rooney and peter.” he gestures to the pair of cats at the corner of his room, who are cleaning themselves in obliviousness to the fact that their dad almost got murdered. “i’m allergic to shellfish but that didn’t stop me this one time and i ended up having to go to the hospital.” 

“you lived though,” jihoon points out as if daniel didn’t already know that. 

daniel snorts in reply as he gets up from the bed and makes his way to the wardrobe. jihoon makes a _mrrf_ sound and daniel turns to see rooney take his spot next to jihoon’s face. on jihoon’s face.

daniel being the good person he is turns back and resumes picking out something else to wear. he does need this shirt for tomorrow after all.

he grabs a plain white cotton shirt, then thinks against it and pulls out a black hoodie and sweatpants instead.

“looks like a very extensive wardrobe selection,” jihoon comments, peeking between rooney’s ears and eyeing his wardrobe's contents.

daniel does a double take and _maybe_ his wardrobe is a tad full of blacks and whites. and about every shade of grey in between. “bright as my future.” daniel muses as he loosens his tie and slips it over his head. he throws it onto the back of his desk chair.

daniel unbuttons his shirt and sighs when he feels the cool air against his collarbone because _heck_ tie or not, collars are _choking_. he reaches the last button and shrugs off the shirt before slipping on the hoodie.

daniel’s unbuckling his belt when he glances back to see jihoon covering his face with his sweater paws. daniel chuckles softly before walking toward the younger and lifting one of his hands from covering his face.

“like what you saw?” daniel teases and jihoon blushes several shades redder than daniel thought was possible.

he kisses the pads of jihoon’s fingertips before changing into his sweatpants.

changed, daniel falls back onto the bed, the impact enough to make jihoon (and rooney) bounce up in a series of squawks. “much better.” daniel sighs as he lies back down on his back, finding jihoon’s hand amongst the blankets and bedsheets and interlacing their fingers. peter pops out of nowhere and decides to make herself comfy on daniel’s stomach.

daniel’s about to say something when he hears the jingle of keys followed by the slide of a lock, and the familiar whoosh of the front door opening. daniel tenses, listening carefully to the tread of footsteps before concluding that his mother is the one home. he tries to remember if they kicked their shoes under the cabinet. maybe she won’t know he’s home. he’s definitely not in the mood for introductions, on explaining why he brought a boy home when it’s been years since he did _(distractions, kang daniel! bad influences! you study fine by yourself)_. and especially when said boy’s cheeks are a tad too flushed and lips a tad too red. more so sitting through another lecture on whether he’s got his shit together yet _”the interview is postponed till tomorrow, mom! what more can i possibly do?”_

daniel returns to his senses when he feels a slight pressure on his hand. if jihoon’s expression is mirroring the one daniel’s feeling, then they’re probably thinking the same thing. _let’s get out of here._

the sound of footsteps grow louder, and daniel eyes the shadow through the gap between the room door and floorboards as it makes its way across, not pausing to check the room for occupants. daniel allows himself to breathe. 

the two grab their stuff and pad towards the door, thankfully still in their socks so at least the sound of sticky feet on the floor won’t give them away.

daniel twists open the handle and cringes slightly at the sound of the hinges squeaking. jihoon gives him a light shove to get him to keep moving and closes the door behind them, emitting a second squeak.

jihoon slips his shoes on and is out the door first. daniel’s holding onto the wall for balance and shoving his feet into a pair of sneakers when he hears the voice behind him.

“daniel? what are you doing? where are you going? how was your interview?” the questions spill out and daniel does his best not to groan in frustration. _so close_

“the interview was fine, mom.” he lies, taking a risky glance out the door and to his relief, jihoon got himself out of view. “i’m going out to eat with some friends.” he finishes, both feet in his sneakers and a foot out the door. his mom speaks up again,

“son wait.” daniel groans internally.

“about what i said before..” daniel tries to remember, nothing.

“about you and your friends.” his mom blurts out, daniel tenses, this talk was something he'd been avoiding for a while. “i realise calling them _bad influences_ was a mistake, and i’m sorry.” daniel blinks as he processes her words. many unexpected things happened today, this too falls right into the category and is battling with him falling for jihoon for first place.

“i realise now.. how you grew up and came this far, it wasn’t just me as your parent, but also the people around you. and since you’re the only one around your age under this roof, i realise i can’t keep controlling you, and that you deserve to have that freedom—to make friends, your own choices—i understand that now, sorry for taking so long.” daniel’s brain is slowly processing everything, when his mom added, “bring back your friends so i can meet them, alright? im sure they played a big part in making you the brilliant boy you are. like that boy outside, it’s not nice to leave a pretty thing waiting.”

daniel's mouth goes dry. “h-how” 

his mom chuckles in response, “i saw you two while on my way back, i just stopped by the neighbour’s house to give you two some time..” she ends on a slightly higher note as if she’s expecting... 

daniel makes a split second decision and calls jihoon in, the latter who was leaning against the wall by the lift jumps slightly and looks at him in surprise, but doesn’t say anything when he makes his way over and steps back in.

“mom, this is jihoon. we met today, and he’s also um,” he gulps. “leaving today.”

daniel’s mom quirks an eyebrow, if she had glimpsed their relationship earlier, she didn’t comment on it, much to daniel’s relief, and more to his gratefulness.

“jihoon-ah” the name rolls off her tongue, not in an unpleasant way, but daniel bites his lip out of impulse, “take care of my boy today.”

jihoon flashes her his sweetest smile, and daniel would be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart melt, “of course!”

the next few moments were a blur, whoever grabbed the other’s hand and pulled them out of the house, it was all a blur to daniel.

he’ll tell her later, they’re progressing, but he’ll take it slow. he needs this day to go slow.

***

“you lied about the interview,” jihoon remarks.

daniel makes an exasperated groan and puts a hand through his hair, “ill explain it to her later, man what is with this day?”

jihoon slides his hand so their fingers interlace. he chuckles lightheartedly in that melodic way, “bizarre day we’re both having.” he says, and a few beats later, “lets go to han river.”

“evening picnic?” daniel asks. jihoon nods, hair whipping around his face and cheeks puffed out. “i want chicken!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're almost at the endd~ one more chapter to go~~
> 
> thank you for reading <33 feedback is always appreciated *finger hearts*


	7. ill think of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “city light pollution is awful, i’ve always wanted to visit the countryside.” jihoon says, lying on his back once daniel set the mat down.
> 
> “will you?” daniel asks, lying down next to him and hooking their ankles together.
> 
> jihoon shakes his head, “i’ll be living in los angeles, and i doubt the skies will be any clearer.”
> 
> “we’ll still be looking up at the same sky, though, even on the opposite ends of the globe.”
> 
> jihoon smiles, “yeah, i’ll think of you every time i look at the sky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna get 6 hours of sleep at this rate but i really wanted to post this chapter tonight so here it is!! the last chapter!!<3 thank you for supporting this fic for the past few months and tolerating my slow updates T^T ill be reading through & self editing this tomorrow since i wrote most of this in one sitting
> 
> disclaimer: I’ve never been to han river before so idk how the place is like, so.. pls don’t think too much about the layout when they’re there HAHA at most it’s a mythical version of han river
> 
> \+ apparently tsiaas is being adapted into a movie yay!!

daniel and jihoon first had to hunt for a picnic mat. since it rained earlier in the day and jihoon _will not dirty his favourite sweater._

after much scavenging, they do find one, miraculously, and then they hop onto a cab en route to han river.

***

somewhere along the way, jihoon’s phone rings. and he knew who was calling and for what reason before he even fished it out of his pocket.

“hi mom”

“jihoon. when will you be back? we have to leave for the airport in a few hours.”

jihoon pouts, although he knows his mom won’t see it, “it’s my last day here, i’m out with a friend. at least let me have a memorable last day, i grew up here after all.”

there’s a pause, and jihoon thinks she hung up on him, when the voice on the other end replies. “alright. be at the airport by eight. we’ll bring your stuff for you.”

jihoon’s mouth curves into a small satisfied smile, “thanks mom.” he says, and he hangs up.

jihoon feels daniel’s stare, as if anticipating him to talk about it. but jihoon stays quiet for a few moments before humming to spring day, then tipping his head so it rests on daniel’s shoulder. he grabs daniel’s hand and puts it on his lap, playing around with his fingers until daniel mumbles something that sounded like _”what a kid.”_

jihoon lifts his head and sticks his tongue out at daniel before returning it onto his shoulder.

***

the parks of han river were filled with tourists—and locals—just like any other day. the homeliness and familiarity of it all was making it hard for jihoon to breathe.

they head to the northern bank which seemed the least crowded, and set up. daniel laying out the mat and jihoon on the phone ordering three buckets of chicken which he insists he can finish (at least) two on his own.

the sun slowly dips in the horizon and paints the sky shades of a glowing yellow, orange and pink. the city’s illumination flicker on one by one, creating a hazy light above the buildings.

“city light pollution is awful, i’ve always wanted to visit the countryside.” jihoon says, lying on his back once daniel set the mat down.

“will you?” daniel asks, lying down next to him and hooking their ankles together.

jihoon shakes his head, “i’ll be living in los angeles, and i doubt the skies will be any clearer.”

“we’ll still be looking up at the same sky, though, even on the opposite ends of the globe.”

jihoon smiles, “yeah, i’ll think of you every time i look at the sky.”

“as will i”

they’re quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. they watch the sun drift down toward the water and the ever changing colours of the sky. 

the two talk about miscellaneous things, their schools, their friends, their family. right until the deliveryman arrives with their buckets of chicken. jihoon’s eyes shine as he takes in the bucket of chicken in front of him, correction: his two buckets of chicken. daniel shakes his head and smiles, “if that’s how much you eat on a daily basis i’m surprised you’re not bigger than me.”

jihoon throws a glare at him, which would seem menacing if his cheeks weren’t stuffed with his large bites of chicken.

daniel pokes his cheek, smiling, “it’s okay, you’re perfect as you are.” and jihoon quickly averts his gaze.

they eat in silence for a few minutes until jihoon breaks it. “what will you do about your interview tomorrow?” he asks as he takes a bite of chicken, “have you decided what you’re going to do with your life?”

“you sound like my mom,” daniel replies, though he doesn’t think of it as an insult, not any longer. “but let’s say i have a rough idea. probably not a doctor though, i hope my mom would be alright with it.”

jihoon quietens for a moment as he takes it in, chewing with consideration and forming a reply, “i think she’ll be alright.” he says finally, slowly, and daniel thinks maybe it would work out in the end.

***

“i’m so full.” jihoon groans as he takes his last bite and swallows. daniel finished his a couple minutes earlier and the bucket lay discarded on the grass. he grabs the green tea cans and passes one to jihoon, before popping his own open and gulping down the contents.

the sun had fully set, casting the sky into a purple-tinged grey of night. jihoon tries not to think how fast the day has gone, and how much longer until it ends.

he shakes his head to clear the thought.

“hey,” daniel says, getting jihoon’s attention back and turning to face him. “don’t make that face”

jihoon forces a weak smile, “i can’t help it.”

daniel reaches a hand up to cup his cheek, and jihoon’s hands find his waist, his touch light. jihoon’s eyes flutter close when daniel’s thumb grazes his cheekbones, and he’s leaning in. closing in the distance and it’s making daniel weak because it’s an invitation he can’t resist. he closes his eyes.

every time they kiss it sends a warm fuzzy feeling around jihoon, from his lips down to the tips of his toes, like the flutter of butterflies, like the tickle of feathers. one that leaves him feeling both giddy and giggly afterwards.

this kiss is gentler than their last ones, which were filled desperation and longing. this time they’re slowing down, because you never know how little time you have left until it’s slipping through your fingers and you’re running out. their foreheads are pressed together and they take turns pressing their lips onto the other’s and smiling in between.

daniel leaves a trail of kisses from the corner of jihoon’s lips to his temple and down to his jaw and back.

jihoon presses his lips onto daniel’s but instead of pulling away he murmurs into his mouth, something indistinct. daniel separates their lips but keeps them close, their foreheads still touch. he wants to hear it properly.

“say it again.” he coaxes.

jihoon’s cheeks are a glowing red, so if what he says next would make him blush, well, who knows? 

“i”  
_smooch._  
“wuv”  
_smooch._  
“you”

their foreheads still touch, and the lights from the distant city reflects in jihoon’s eyes. they’re twinkling and daniel can’t help but think _so that’s where all the stars in seoul went._

***

when jihoon’s phone vibrates they know time is up.

jihoon takes one last long look at the lighted city, the bridge stretching across the river, the hazy night obscuring the stars from view. he climbs into the cab after daniel and presses himself against him, as if to seek some sort of comfort. they hook their legs together and jihoon rests his forehead on daniel’s shoulder, daniel’s on his head. there was a weight in his chest like a breath held too long. 

too soon. he still had things to do, he doesn’t want to rebuild his life somewhere else.

and so he looks for a distraction. “your dumb experiment, where did we stop?” jihoon asks. 

daniel looked dumbfounded, amazed that jihoon would bring it up now, but he doesn’t question it. he kind of lost track on where they stopped, with so much cutting down of the full experiment...

“i don’t know,” he replies, “but there’s the last part where we look into each other’s eyes for, four minutes?”

“okay.” jihoon replies as he takes his phone out and sets the timer to four minutes. he grabs daniel’s hand. “go.”

the first ten seconds were, awkward, no doubt. embarrassed smiles took over their faces, and jihoon accidentally averts his eyes only to be brought back by daniel squeezing his hand. _stay with me._

second minute goes by, and the awkwardness fades away as they catalogue each others’ faces, as if committing them to memory. jihoon’s mind drifts to what he learnt about the human eye. optical images to his retina, retina converts them to signals, signals to visual cortex, and planted into his memory. this is a sight he won’t be forgetting, he won’t forget how daniel smiles, how it lights up his whole face.

daniel focuses on his eyes too. he observes how they sparkle, and wonders how he would describe them. the store of all the stars in seoul skies? and his smile, brightening his face like the sun. enough about the ordinary stars, the world needs more poems about the sun. it is a star after all? he’ll keep it in mind. he wonders why people ever thought dark eyes were dull.

third minute. jihoon relives the day in his head. the decision to leave home, cat cafe, meeting daniel, coffee shop, norebang, _kisses_ , office, separation. _kisses._ and then cat cafe, _more kisses,_ daniel’s house, han river. this moment right now.

daniel doesn’t think about the past, he thinks about the future. all the little things that happened earlier brought him here. surely, everyone enters your life for a purpose? has jihoon finished his purpose? to take his heart and bring it far far away? 

the last minute is painful, hurting. jihoon wonders, what if they hadn’t met? would he have had a perfectly ordinary—last—day, and not know he was missing something? soon the phone buzzes, signalling the end for the second time.

they whisper promises, phone calls, text messages, skype calls, emails, international flights. promises they wonder if they’ll be able to keep.

and then they kiss  
again and  
again and  
again.

one day can’t possibly be all that they have.

but _meant to be_ doesn’t mean _forever._

 

 

 

 

 

_two weeks_

for two weeks, they kept their promise. they message each other daily, they skype each other when it’s night for one and day for the other. but days get full, and time and distance are love’s natural enemies.

as jihoon’s first day of school draws nearer, their calls shorten and his replies more spaced apart. daniel got into the course he desired, though it meant he too would be busy.

jihoon easily makes new friends in his new school, and formed a close bond with samuel and justin, who coincidentally had lived in korea too at some point in their lives. he _is_ likeable after all, in more ways than one. daniel on the other hand, enrols into the same university as his best friends seongwoo and jaehwan. different majors, but still together.

both their days were filled with happiness, all their worries—scrapped. maybe they were overthinking after all, maybe they just needed time.

 

 

 

 

 

_two months_

it wasn’t that jihoon wanted to let daniel go, it was that he had to. he can’t live in two places simultaneously, body in one place, heart in another. 

and so he lets go—reluctantly—to avoid being ripped apart.

 _”jihoon the believer now, huh?”_ he still hears daniel’s voice in his head sometimes. but jihoon’s moving on, slowly.

he’s sitting on one of the benches in his school, a book about space open on his lap. when he hears someone calling his name, and turns to see samuel waving to him, “hey ji! wanna get some coffee after class? we could go to that new cafe down the road.” samuel suggests, and jihoon tries not to notice the somewhat familiar feeling in his chest, a feeling that has been steadily growing over the span of a few weeks. “just the two of us since justin has a project meeting.”

jihoon hopes whatever he’s feeling then—is not showing on his face when he smiles at samuel shyly.

“sure! that sounds nice.”

_jihoon’s moving on, slowly._

 

daniel chose to take up nursing in the end, and he found that he enjoyed it a lot.

and since he does what he enjoys, he does it well.

he still finds time to write. 

long happy poems, short sad poems. and the ones not about _him_ are somehow still about him.

it’s not that he wanted to let jihoon go, he tries to hold on as long as he can. but he hears the strain in jihoon’s voice across the distance.

letting go was a lot harder than it sounded.

 

 

 

 

 

 _a year passes,_  
jihoon’s memories of that day in seoul were held together by a thin thread, the magical feeling he felt by being with daniel was fading from his memories. he wonders if he had imagined that first love. 

he and samuel hadn’t worked out in the end, and they agreed they were better off as best friends.

***

on some nights in that helpless moment before sleep overrides him, jihoon recalls that familiar flutter in his chest he felt when he was with daniel. whether it was simply a figment of his imagination, or over-romanticisation, it was an impulsive and passionate feeling.

a small part of him wants to think maybe it was real.

 

even daniel no longer knows what that day meant, that day that once meant everything. the coincidences that led them to find each other and the circumstances that pulled them apart.

he recalls how they found each other again after they split up, how everything in the universe had to align perfectly to make it happen.

he wonders when, or _if_ their universes would align like that again.

or maybe their universe is just taking longer to form.

 

 

 

 

 

**_epilogue_ **  
_two years later_

“daniel!” he hears seongwoo call from the living room. “get your ass out of your room or ill haul it out myself!”

daniel scoffs in his room, though seongwoo can’t see it, and picks out a simple maroon red tee shirt and slips it on. _see, jihoon? colour!_ daniel smiles at the thought until he hears jaehwan’s voice calling, “godammit daniel no one’s gonna care what you wear, everyone will be looking at the fireworks! except us if we don’t make it in time since you’ve been deciding on a shirt for the past ten minutes!”

daniel barges out of the room, “okay, okay I’m ready” he says, “jeez guys.”

his two best friends are lounging on the sofa, and they grin at him when he finally comes out.

“finally,” they both sigh exasperatedly in unison. daniel rolls his eyes in response.

_next stop: han river annual fireworks festival_

***

the trio reach minutes before the sun begins to set, and there are already people lining along the bridge looking out over the water. there’s upbeat music blasting from the speakers, thrumming though daniel’s veins and contributing to the liveliness of the atmosphere. its a magical feeling, daniel wants to think _something_ will happen tonight.

 

somewhere amongst the crowd, there is a certain boy donning a bright orange sweater and mismatching shoelaces. he’s with his group of friends, who he hasn’t seen in around.. three years? they’re catching up on their lives and are at one of the food stalls. the boy in the orange sweater is on his third box of chicken, much to the amazement (and expectation) of his group of friends. the boy reminiscences on the last time he had been to han river. the scenery hadn’t changed much, just a little more crowded. 

he’s suddenly conscious of the weight of the phone in his pocket. he wonders if _he_ changed his number, whether he’s still in seoul. he wants to see him, but it’s been so, so long without words being exchanged between them.

“jihoonie hyung hurry up! we have to go claim a spot on the bank before the crowd gets worse.” he hears daehwi call to him.

park jihoon sets his thoughts aside and catches up to his friends.

 

daniel pauses mid step, wondering if his ears are playing tricks on him. and jaehwan crashes into him from behind. “ya! daniel don’t suddenly stop like that.” he cries, but daniel’s head is whipping left and right, as if searching for something, _someone._

“daniel?’” jaehwan asks, “you alright?”

“a-ah yeah” daniel replies, taking one last look around him, “sorry, just thought it was someone i knew.”

jaehwan raises a brow, but doesn’t push further. “if you say so,” he says and walks ahead, “c’mon, seongwoo’s waiting.” he calls back.

maybe daniel’s being delusional tonight,  
maybe he hasn’t completely moved on yet.

he shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts, then brisk walks to catch up to jaehwan.

 _it’s probably not him_ daniel thinks to himself, though he hopes he’s wrong. _there are other jihoons in korea_

 

woojin and jinyoung have set up their mat, laying out the spread of food they bought from the festival. the wafting aroma of warm food was irresistible and daehwi and guanlin sit and dig in, much to the protests of the older two.

 _some things don’t change_ jihoon thinks as he takes his place on the mat, sipping a can of soda when woojin suddenly nudges his side frantically and almost causing the older to choke on his straw.

“ah woojinie stop it! what was that for?” jihoon whines but woojin wasn’t looking at him. jihoon follows his gaze but couldn’t find what had caught the younger’s attention other then a growing crowd of people.

“go up there.” woojin commands him, pointing a finger up at the bridge. jihoon scrunches his face in confusion, _what is this kid on about_ “if you want more food go buy some yourself.” he protests and continues sipping his soda.

woojin makes a sound between a scoff and a sigh, before grabbing onto jihoon’s shoulders so the latter faces him. “park jihoon, i command you in the name of your first, oldest and bestest best friend that you go onto that stupid bridge or it will be what you will regret the most in your twenty years of being alive.” woojin says with such an intensity that jihoon is gaping at him in bewilderedness. 

“why?” jihoon asks, voice coming out smaller than what he would have liked, but woojin heard it over the sound of the festival nonetheless.

he gives jihoon a final push, and the latter finds himself kneeling on the mat as if some part of him is actually willing to follow one of woojin’s weird requests.

“there’s a better view up there.” is all woojin says before jihoon finds himself standing up uncertainly. he takes a final glance back and sees woojin flashing a thumbs up while the rest look between them in confusion. 

jihoon heads toward the bridge.

 

seongwoo and jaehwan left to find the washroom, and so daniel’s leaning out and eyeing the dark waters below, as if something was going to appear out of nowhere. but all he saw was the reflection of the colourful lights of the bridge, the city, the full moon, though there isn’t a star in the darkening skies.

daniel looks over at the banks of han river and recalls when he too were sitting there with the most beautiful starry-eyed boy, years ago.

he looks back up at the sky, as if the missing stars would magically appear there. he thinks of jihoon with his twinkling eyes, sparkling so brightly one would think he were the thief who stole all the stars and hid them in his eyes.

daniel wonders how he’s doing, and he finds memories of that distant day flooding his mind. something in his heart clenches, and daniel tells himself he can’t suddenly start missing a boy he spent barely a day with, three years ago.

 _move on, daniel_ he thinks.  
then out loud, as if to reaffirm himself, “move on—“

“—daniel?”

he freezes when he hears a voice calling him like a distant memory, soft and breathless and _familiar_. daniel finds it suddenly hard to breathe.

he turns toward his left, slowly, hesitantly, as if had he moved too fast he would wake up from this dream. this can’t be a dream, right?  
_and, there._

 _he’s here,_ looking as bright and radiant as ever.  
and the smile that lights up his entire face would make the brightest star in the solar system seem pale in comparison.

jihoon breaks into a run and jumps into his arms, and daniel reacts just in time to catch him, arms supporting jihoon’s weight as he hooks his ankles around daniel’s back.

jihoon brings their faces closer together, and daniel feels his heart about to hammer out of his chest, 

“hey” jihoon greets softly  
“jihoon,” daniel replies breathlessly, he notices how the younger’s hair seems longer, and his cheeks are losing their baby fat. “you’re really here? I’m not dreaming?”

jihoon chuckles and uses his free hand around daniel’s neck to tug at the strands of hair at his nape and crashing their lips together. falling back into a familiar rhythm and tingling both their senses. 

when they pull apart, red lips and cheeks, daniel finds the missing stars in jihoon’s eyes again. 

“still think you’re dreaming?” jihoon asks, pressing their foreheads together.

daniel’s about to say something when he hears a screech coming from somewhere behind them. he lets go of jihoon out of surprise and the latter scurries to hide behind the older.

“pda! pda!”  
“we leave you alone for five minutes—“ jaehwan and seongwoo start in unison before daniel shushes them.

feeling mildy embarrassed by both the public’s attention and being caught by seongwoo and jaehwan, who probably thought he had been kissing a random stranger, he quickly explains,

“no! its not like that,” he starts, “this.. is jihoon, i told you guys about him.” he adds softly. he doesn’t see jihoon’s reaction (and he’s somewhat scared to)

seongwoo and jaehwan’s brows shoot up so high they disappear under their bangs. 

“oh”  
“oh”  
“wow”

jihoon peeks out from behind daniel and flashes them both a shy smile.

“he’s cute” jaehwan says before he can stop himself.

“thank you” jihoon smiles at him, reaching for daniel’s hand and tugging it.

“okay okay, ill see you guys later! enjoy the festival!” daniel says before pulling jihoon away from the pair.

***

“you won’t leave again, right?” daniel asks. the two find a quiet space, tucked away behind some trees. “i can’t move on if you keep leaving and coming back like this, it’ll kill me.”

jihoon squeezes his hand, but he’s smiling. “nope, I’m staying. my parents are letting me stay in a university dorm.”

“really?”

jihoon’s smile grows bigger, “i missed you.” he says, and the fireworks go off in the distance, lighting up the night sky. 

“i missed you too.” daniel replies as he leans forward and kisses his forehead. “are we in a relationship yet?”

jihoon giggles, "yes, bring me out on a date tomorrow, i wanna see how much this place has changed."

daniel interlaces their fingers together and kisses the back of jihoon's hand, "sure, cupcake."

 

 _this really is a better view_ jihoon thinks, resting his head on daniel's shoulder and daniel's head on top of his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i appoint park woojin as nielwink captain in this fic (tho we know niel is the real captain *ahem* (that pull ups video) i chOKED)
> 
> so my lit teacher gave us an extension for our 4-essays-homework-assignment so i managed to finish this today !!!! do leave a kudo if u liked it <333
> 
> my twitter is @bobabaejin feel free to message me or something uwu

**Author's Note:**

> if you’ve read till here: thank you so much :-) this is the first actual chaptered fic i managed to commit to finishing and it was a riiiideee
> 
> i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it~


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